Finding Your Northern Star

Brace yourself.

I had no interest in being a Coach.

What Marlon Brando was to the acting world, I am to the coaching world.

He didn’t want to be an actor. But he was damn good at it!

I didn’t want to be a coach. But I am damn good at it!

I know, it’s odd. Here I am, today, writing about how much I love working with people and the intimate experience we share. How truly magnificent it is!

If you had asked me this question years ago and told me that I would enter the coaching industry I wouldn’t believe you.

I remember doing those extensive personality tests during my time in Corporate World. Being the youngest in my department and being surrounded by some pretty amazing mentors. They know who they are. I love you all.

My personality test came to the exact same ‘code’ as the Senior Leaders in our organization. Many of whom were women. I thought that was funny I shared the same personality as them. I admire women in leadership roles. Looking forward to seeing this grow even more as it is already progressing today.

But that aside, I came out to be ‘The Inspirer.’ The one who inspires others into alignment. Great with teams and building people towards a common goal or vision. I remember reading it, and thinking, ‘Wait a minute, my best ability is helping others achieve their goals and aspirations.’ I was upset. I didn’t get it at that time. I was actually mad. I am here to help others, with their goals and aspirations! What about mine! I thought. I want to be here for myself. Others bothered me at times.

Now don’t get me wrong. People love me. I make friends easily. I am told repeatedly that if anyone doesn’t like Pam, there is something seriously wrong with that person. And this isn’t because I was a people pleaser or anything. I was so picky and choosey with whom I hung out with. Even today. My circle of influence is very small by choice. A handful of people. In fact, those people that I manifest into my existence show up in my life because of the vibration and frequency I am offering in that given moment. Every time! And I am particular with my time and what I decide to do with it. I’m like Johnny Carson in the sense that well, we share the same horoscope sign almost to a T and I in-joy my own company. I in-joy spending time with me. Reading the happy paper, listening to music, reading a good book, writing, drawing, and so forth.

I didn’t understand what it meant to be of value for others at that time yet I was doing that all day everyday. Whether it was with my co-workers, colleagues, or people I worked with on a daily basis, I naturally fell into that role. I naturally cared. And people naturally gravitated towards me for council. They would entrust with me their innermost dealings. They would share very personal stories with me; things they wouldn’t share with other people in the organization. Why? Well One, I know it was because I listened attentively and I cared. I genuinely care about people. That was never something I had to learn or take a course on. In fact, I think all of humanity has this natural ability to tap into that source = unconditional love. And the other, because whatever they shared stopped with me; for my ears only. It stopped with me unless I was seeking extra council, privately, on the matter to RECEIVE a resolution.

I think for me, it wasn’t about the helping people that bothered me but it was about the coaching profession itself. Why did someone need an outside source to help them out when they have all the tools and resources they need at their own fingertips? They have it within themselves. Everyone has an inner guidance system. Everyone has a 1,000 year old being (in my case, a billion year old) inner being.

I have heard other coaches say nobody needs a coach.

I want to expand on this further.

Nobody does it alone.

Whether you get a coach or not it is always your own decision and what works best for you.

All I have to say is, I love what happens when two people come together in a shared trusted space and do some magnificent, masterful, deliberate co-creation. And the friendship that ensues after that stands the test of time.

Love transcends time, you see.

I made the decision to love — unconditionally.

Do you know how freeing that is?

It means, no matter what goes around me and whatever the circumstance I choose to be free of conditions. Free of people. Free of opinions. I would stand steady in my love and be consistent. I would be my own Northern Star and I would shine that alignment on anyone who comes in contact with me or is in my vicinity.

Below is a quote from William Shakespeare — The Tragedy of Julius Caesar. It is one of my favorites. This is what I embody everyday. And yes, sometimes I may feel like I am steering off course and yes it is challenging at times. But you have your internal guidance system to signify that you are off course and you always have the choice to steer back in the direction you are headed.


Act III, Scene I.


I could be well moved if I were as you. If I could pray to move, prayers would move me. But I am constant as the northern star, Of whose true-fixed and resting quality There is no fellow in the firmament. The skies are painted with unnumbered sparks. They are all fire and every one doth shine, But there’s but one in all doth hold his place. So in the world. ‘Tis furnished well with men, And men are flesh and blood, and apprehensive, Yet in the number I do know but one That unassailable holds on his rank, Unshaked of motion. And that I am he Let me a little show it even in this: That I was constant Cimber should be banished, And constant do remain to keep him so.

And so I made the decision to be my own Northern Star. And I have let everyone off the hook because I know I create my own reality. It has nothing to do with them. It is all ME. And I have full control of the vibration I am offering to the universe.

Relationships serve us.

I wouldn’t want to come here and be on an island by myself.

I wouldn’t be someone’s Daughter. Best friend. Lover. Sister. Companion. And so much more.

I am here to explore those relationships. And since we ALL come from the same Source I get to swim in this creation and revel in relationships and scenarios and be the star of my own play. We are all extensions of the same source. So technically, we really are the universe exploring itself. Exploring new thoughts. New relationships. New rendezvous moments.

I love people. Even the ones that drive me mad. Like Mad Hatter Mad. Because I now know the value they serve me.

I get to have clarity on what it is that I do want and what I don’t want. And most importantly. No matter how the ‘other’ acts. I choose to be consistent in my actions. I choose to be my Own Northern Star. Regardless of how they act or be, I will be, ‘unshaked in motion.’ That, ‘unassailable holding my rank.’ I will hold my place. I will love unconditionally. And with some of those moments, I will discover something new about myself. And the universe will expand because of that. I have the power to make the universe expand because I love unconditionally. How COOL IS THAT!

So this is, My Coach’s Oath to YOU:

No matter who you are, no matter where you have been, no matter where you are going. I promise to see you through the eyes of Source. I will see you as God sees you. A true masterpiece. A Perfect Imperfection. I promise to love you unconditionally. I promise to love you even when you are hard on yourself, when you are critical of yourself, even when you put conditions on your own self-love. I will honor you. I will be your biggest champion. I promise to be on my highest vibration so that I may serve you by my own alignment. I will not dip my vibration so I may join you on a lower frequency but I will radiate my highest frequency so that you may join and embody your natural state of Well-Being and Abundance. I choose to see you as a Master Creator. I choose to see you as you truly are, a God. You and I are cut from the same cloth. We flow from the same infinite stream of consciousness and infinite intelligence. You are no lesser than anyone. You are my divine equal. Together we will create mystery. Together we will create magic. Together we will embody the greatest embodiment of alignment and love demonstrated to all kind.

Here is the trick, the wave of the magic wand in order to unconditional love others. The Act of Unconditionally loving others, is really an act of unconditionally loving yourself. For we are all extensions of the same source.

“One day after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity” — after all the scientific and technological achievements — “we shall harness for God the energies of love. And then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.” — Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

And to think, all of this can be yours, if you CHOOSE IT TO BE.


Unconditionally yours,

Pam Q

Be Curious. Play More. Be Happy.

Originally published at

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