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❤ Positive-focused Motivational Speaker ❤ Writer ❤ Domestic Violence Educator @ www.advancedbehavioralchanges.org ❤ Catch the Spark❤ Lead others to find peace.

A poem of thoughts about current events

The sun hides behind the low-hanging frosty fog
wondering if it will show up, glowing alive
while frightening the icy air into the background.
I wonder; pause to think.
Is our life much like waiting for the sun to shine?
When we have the denseness of opinion
Lacking fact, fully fiction in our minds.

To wait for the snow to fall
from the heavy grey skies like an endless dash —
the space between the word and the thought.
Encased in the words we write, read, think.
And ask the question, fully loaded like the clouds
Who am I amidst the greying world?
Just…


Anger is a biological, normal protective factor we often feel needs to vanish. Instead, use your anger to propel you toward greater change.

Anger is a perfectly normal emotion and you could expect to feel some anger when you’ve been treated badly. The initial emotion isn’t the real issue. It’s the choices you make after the point which have the potential to be damaging.

If your temper frequently escalates, you might believe that it’s out of your control and there is little that can be done. However, you have far more control over your emotions than you think.

The key is to discover a way to express your anger without hurting others.

Your needs are more likely to be met when you’re able…


Tony isn't a guru, and he is working helping to improve lives by giving them an opportunity to grow if they want to grow. I have been a part of his programs, and feel like what he tries to do: Help people, continue building a business, and inspire business-minded people to continue to work. I feel like the selling part of his business gets old, redundant, and repetitive, however, I get what he tries to accomplish.

He's a businessman. People who do not dig deep in their lives tend to point fingers at others because that's the easier path. I…


An action plan to restore your relationship one moment at a time.

Dr. John Gottman coined the term ‘emotional bank account’ as it relates to couples. John believes couples who ‘turn toward’ each other, rather than away from each other, are building an emotional savings account.

Recently, I listened to a podcast where John and Julie Gottman share their love story with Dr. Brené Brown. The ideas and gift of their story, the longevity of their relationship, and how this was a second marriage for each of them. The hour-long topic inspired me to see even they believe relationships can last.

He refers to the ‘little things,’ which couples do for each…


Long-distance relationships require special attention to make them last. You can keep your love alive with these simple tips.

Relationships take energy, time, and commitment to make them work. Add distance and you double the complications. A committed couple can make a long-distance relationship work if both parties want the connection. If you started in person and then moved away due to jobs or career, you can use the tips to help you stay strongly connected. If you met online and have not yet met, these tips can still help you build a real connection, so when you meet in person you’ll feel the bond immediately.

Try these techniques to keep in touch and help your relationship thrive:

Establish guidelines for contact.

Make…


Enhancing your romantic relationship can be done in many ways. One strategy that can truly enrich your connection is to plan and take a trip together.

While some couples argue and fight when they are in a car for more than a few minutes, others can learn to cultivate a loving relationship built on the foundation of goals and dreams. When couples plan something exciting together, they create momentum. As they prepare, plan, and ponder, they build connection, cohesion, and communication skills. Each time you plan, and then follow through, you build memories within your relationship. We need the positive memories to keep love alive.

Below are some action plans to deepen your love for each other:

Plan discussion time.

Set aside time to talk about trips you’d like…


A poem of alone, found, together.

The face, glazed by the daze of fear
Emboldened by the flight of life
Strengthened by the history of plight
Lifted by the dawn of awareness.

The face, stone-cold eyes stare out
In blank scarcity, opened and unseeing
Limited in views, blackened with ash
Void of life’s embers.

The face, turned as if sound awoke the sleeper
Recognition, the color returns, hazy, faint
Blinking, blinking, blinking away the tears
held so long by sheer will; now shallow.

The face, startled into existence of one’s one fate
Aware of surroundings, and yet, the body moves not. …


The debate’s hot topics lead one to emotionally charge their verbal discourses, inciting anger and rage, while those who choose to think or reason are swamped.

The article below builds awareness for a few purposes: To identify what and how our thinking moves us, where our thoughts and feelings come from, and how can we slow down long enough to register a choice in the next behavior we choose.

As thorough as one can be, until every person decided to step up and take ownership of their thinking and feeling, we will continue to see groups of people following mob mentality, individuals who feel empowered by group energy, and individuals who seek to make a singular statement inciting pain on hundreds, if not thousands who hear…


Sometimes unfortunate events lead to reflection and relaxation.

The story: Husband and wife, driving in separate vehicles, having been arguing, ended up hitting an electric pole knocking out power on my side of town. The woman was trying to ram his car when she hit the pole. She was arrested for a domestic.

The irony: My domestic violence Zoom group was canceled due to a power outage, caused by the couple who were in a vehicle fight a few blocks away.

The results: Group members choose to make up the missed class by joining the next evening’s group. …


Instead of seeing the negative, you’ll find seven tools to help you move from a dreaded moment in the day to a positive-focused mindset. A bad moment does not equal a bad day.

The day started with a thud. Tripping over the foot of the bed where a pillow fell to the floor, I found my foot hitting the bed’s leg. My toe, aching, and my limping body went to the bathroom, checking for blood. All clear, I lifted to toilet lid, to have it crash to the floor; the creaking final straw broke as the back came apart.

At this point, I was wide awake. My first words, “really?” rang out. …

Pamela J. Nikodem, M.S.Ed

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