Cheating out of Conscience

Oct 24, 2018 · 3 min read

She was younger than me, and beautiful, with a smile that could charm the most hopeless of men.

She was my friend’s cousin, but we had never met…and when we did, we couldn’t get our eyes off of each other. It was like a curious discovery, meeting someone you immediately connect with, and with very few words… I had forgotten what that felt like…

She noticed the feeling, and she could tell I did too… but she wasn’t the only one. Everyone we crossed or met at the event, embarrassingly assumed we were a couple, even the ones who knew my matrimonial status, or my wife even…

Raised eyebrow after raised eyebrow followed our footsteps while we exchanged and laughed, but not once did anyone have the courage to ask what was transpiring, and I felt no need to volunteer the information either. In some weird way I felt free. Their judgement was beneath me and my indifference to their subtle comments, and to their uncomfortable smiles amused me.

She didn’t mind the attention and she was having fun with it too, grabbing my arm sometimes to gauge a reaction. She was testing them…and I loved it. Our conniving complicity was certainly going to get us in trouble, but for now we were having fun with it. I had the most beautiful woman at the event under my arm, out of pure coincidence, and she was enjoying a good time with the only person she didn’t share a language barrier with.

We laughed for a good while when I dropped her off at her hotel, and when we finished laughing it got silent, with a very loud “what if” resonating in both of our heads. I contemplated the consequences of my actions, and weighed the worth of the sin in my mind… but the scale was violently tipped when I turned to stare in her eyes and saw desire. I boiled inside and out and could no longer resist my body getting pulled towards hers, caressing her sultry face and tasting her sumptuous lips. I could feel the pulse in my neck pounding like an 808.

The next thing I know, I was on a bed, waking up in sweat…consumed with guilt and a conscience weighing heavier than normal…

I rolled over and uttered the words…

“I just had a dream where I cheated on you…” only to be met with the sound of indifference at my non-consequential confession.

Mind you, months before, the same person I was confessing to, violently woke me up in the middle of the night to question me about who I was cheating with, in her own dream… smh…🤦‍♂️

Morale of the story is: go out on dates and rediscover each other before you discover someone else who will snatch you away from your most sacred commitment… ✌

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