The Diary Of An Aspiring Change-maker
I love food. If food were capable of emoting, I would date it. Instead, here, I am going to use it as a tool to explain a strange feeling that has been bothering me for a while now.
I’m Jack’s Narrative Voice.
It’s 11:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning. I am hungry (and probably hungover).
A sequence of options scroll across my groggy mind — Do I order food on Swiggy or Zomato? Could I visit my favourite brunch buffet place? Should I cook? But, I am just that average foodie with poor decision making skills. This is a complex psychological circumstance for our kind. Therein ensues a battle amongst my extent of laziness, ability to cook something edible, urgency of hunger and wallet potential.
I’ll spare you the elaborate scientific permutations and combinations that swipe through my deep rooted Engineering psyche.
It is the end of the month and life as I know it is a wee bit more challenging. My wallets are light, I am tired (and lazy), therefore in need of instant gratification. Often I focus on what I do not have than otherwise, but my need to not stay hungry any longer sparks a rather obvious solution.
As I put my scrambled eggs, toast and orange juice together, there emerges a sense of accomplishment within me, small but very personal. I am a little tired, and I hit the spot of self-reflection. I think.
I have solved my problem via what I could ‘bring to the plate’, rather than waiting for it to be ‘given on a platter’.
I eat.
It is not the greatest of meals in the world, but is completely my effort, turned into a creation. Somehow, I am not able to shake-off this line of thought. In an attempt to ‘chill’ I switch my TV on.
“Uncertain as I was as I pushed forward, I felt right in my pushing, as if the effort itself meant something. That perhaps being amidst the undesecrated beauty of the wilderness meant I too could be undesecrated, regardless of the regrettable things I’d done to others or myself or the regrettable things that had been done to me. Of all the things I’d been skeptical about, I didn’t feel skeptical about this: the wilderness had a clarity that included me.” ― Cheryl Strayed, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail
Ch. #425 | Fox Life
Now Playing, ‘Tales From The Bush Larder’
Somewhere in Africa, an Indian looking guy with a non-so-Indian accent, along with the natives in the area, are all attempting to catch a wild rabbit. He yearns to capture it by his bare so he can cook it later.
The group runs around for hours while a couple of wild ones narrowly escape their grab. Post a little more struggle, a lot of patience, one of the natives manages to catch a rabbit by its ears.
Granted, the protagonist of the show is not able to accomplish the ‘catching’, but there is a look of satisfaction on his face. This is possibly because he has made an effort instead of sitting back and waiting for his meaty ingredient to be provisioned by someone else.
The second voice inside my head, the ‘train of thought’, is growing stronger as the level of ‘chill’ diminishes. I feel it taking over me, and I sense …
I am Jack’s Existential Crisis.
As a kid, I had a below par experience with the education system in India. While growing up and in trying to face the real challenges of life, I often realise how the system has failed me … us.
Why are majority of world leaders men?
What has happened to those brilliant girls from my school and college, the ones who had big aspirations?
Something is not right.
A huge blunder right under our own noses.
I want to make a difference.
Everyday, I read about how social enterprises like Nanhi Kali, Teach For India, Milaap, Ketto — are all making a constructive dent in the society. One particular survey even stated that there is one social cause out there for every 500th Indian.
Oh.
Then why is it that we still seem to be failing?
Alright, I have an idea. I will wait and talk to people until something doable comes up.
I wait, I talk.
There was a reverend in Japan. He had a statement which really struck me, and it was “Better to light one candle than curse the darkness.”
There’s so many people who sit back and say, “We’re screwed,” or, you know, “Why bother?” But you know what? That candle, that candle means something, because with that one candle, maybe someone else with a candle will find you. And I think that’s where movements are started.
I know it all sounds overwhelming. But if we start with just one thing, we can start a movement.
I keep waiting, I keep talking.
I wait longer, I talk more.
I am hungry. I want to cook.
But, I am not trying to cook. But, I am not trying to catch a wild rabbit.
Instead, I want to savour the brunch buffet and feel good about it. Instead, I want to use the produce, and do the easy thing.
I seem to be stuck, in this vicious cycle. Something is happening, it’s like I am evolving… I think it’s time for…
I am Jack’s Enlightened Moment.
I definitely have the ingredients.
I certainly have the limbs and the support.
I am now an aspiring change maker.
I wait, I talk, and I do…
Of course, I am that average aspiring change maker with questionable decision making skills. I indulge in the little pleasures of an extravagant Sunday brunch and I do get food delivered to my doorstep.
However, I make my own social change, throughout any given year, month, day…
Because,
I want to change the world. — Mr. Robot
Though it looks like the world is set in its ways, it is in fact eminently open to change by those who dare to swim into the stream of history.
Wearing the shoes of a layman at Paperman is far from being considered as taboo. We are a social enterprise, a little larger than life at times, but that does not stop us from being human, and there are moments of reality which are meant to be embraced.
We share our train of thought with #InsideTheDiary, giving you access to the most vulnerable side of the human experience.
by Aravind Kannan, Head of Operations at Paperman
Networking towards a society with no barriers.
