I’m lying in bed and it’s 3:48am as I write this first sentence. The lights are out, my computer is closed for the first time in weeks and I’m enjoying the new brightness options on the iOS. A friend is sleeping on my sofa and for the first time in months, I feel proud.

I feel happy.

I started a YouTube channel as a means to bring order back into my life after my first attempt at entrepreneurship failed. With it spiralling out, things got dark and my mental health went ker-splat on the sidewalk. I’m going to save that whole story for another day because it’s less exciting.

And i am! Excited, I mean. I’m freaking thrilled at what I’ve accomplished in one month. I’m nearly at 30 subscribers, I have 70 videos uploaded to youtube and 3 completed Let’s Play series. This channel of mine is putting my butt through the grinder and I’m loving it.

I’ve taught myself SEO, photo editing and video editing. I’m terrible at all 3 of them, but I’m better than I was one month ago.

Aww yiss.




Ideally I’d have photoshopped that but I’m in bed. I also have no idea how this will turn out when I publish this.


Tomorrow I have plans to go running with said friend on sofa and hopefully I bring myself to do it more often. We went for brunch and swapped our potatoes for quinoa and other healthy grains or whatever. Pretty yummy, can’t deny. Healthier habits are something I’m working on.

I’m still gonna enjoy my post-midnight Redbulls but hey, what’s the point of caffeine immunity if you can’t have fun with it.

Heh, people find it so strange that I can down an espresso or energy drink (or both)and then go to sleep. It’s one of the only things I take pride in for which I have no control over. And that’s pretty cool.

I want to continue being proud for the things I do and can control. The work I’m putting into this channel, the person it’s helping me become and blah

Anyways, my mind is racing with things to do but it’s 4:03am and my eyes are getting a little droopy. I have no idea who is going to read this but here’s to many more. I’m proud to be writing this.

Good night,

Jonathan ‘Paradox'

4:09am. Think im done editing.

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