Or to pick up a pen — Sometimes I like to think of the person I used to be. Humble, soft-spoken and respectful. I was the type of person to see an old lady crossing a busy road and think strongly about going to help. I wouldn’t — of course. …

Just when you thought he couldn’t get any lower — It is the year 2024. It is 7 weeks since Donald Trump lost the presidential election to democratic candidate Mutt Romney — a great great great great grandson to Seamus, Mitt Romney’s dog who travelled exclusively via woofrack. It is 3 days since the last of his electoral fraud challenges…

Fly Birdies Fly — I was invited to write a twittle, But I don’t like slimy Musk, He thinks we should pay for his piddle, And extends a hand to Trump. What if my twittle ends up no good? Poetry’s never been my jam, What if it’s a deviant bastard crook? …

A whole bunch of shit I’m no longer willing to shovel — As someone with a fair amount of patience and an irrepressible urge to make others happy, I’ve listened to a lot of shit. I’ve nodded my head at the appropriate cadence. I’ve grunted my agreeance at a volume soft enough not to be considered aggressive, yet loud enough not to…

What if it took you to Hollywood? — Body swap movies used to be all the rage. Freaky Friday. The Hot Chick. Freaky Friday — The Lindsay Lohan remake. But my favourite body swap mention came from the iconic Irish comedy, Father Ted. Forget Spiderman. Remember Spiderbaby.

Is this the next reality star of our generation? — I love my dog. He’s a certified nutjob, but I love him. He’s the first dog I’ve ever had, but he won’t be the last. (Yes, I am already thinking about an upgrade, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him.) When I dreamed of having a dog, I dreamed…

Because the heavens were all out of men — For those of you unfamiliar with the works of Raine Lore, you should make yourselves familiar. One of the great storytellers of her generation (she prefers not to have her age disclosed, but it’s somewhere between the ancient Romans and the millennials), Raine is also a ‘real top sheila’ (quote…

But only because Smillew told me to — In the event this story makes no sense to you at all (what’s new?), read this piece and see if you can understand the rules (I couldn’t). Scrabble Your Medium — Challenge Alert! A new challenge for the challenge and/or Scrabble loversmedium.com Let’s celebrate (alone)! Did you know that while only about 11% of people spend Christmas alone, 16% spend New Year's alone.

What I learnt from the Mediums in the last little while — I’m all for hedonism. The pursuit of pleasure is a noble one, least far as I’m concerned. The last couple of years have thrown their fair share of fuckballs at us: Covid, War in Ukraine, Minions: The Rise of Gru. …