Why Great Leaders Need The Feels: Debunking Five Myths About Empathy

Most of us realize that empathy is important for healthy personal relationships because, as Brené Brown said in this charming RSA Short, it “fuels connection”. But leaders don’t always apply the same rule in their business relationships. Renowned management consultant and business theorist Peter Drucker once said, “Effective leadership is not about making speeches or being liked” and that while executives vary widely in abilities and personalities, all that matters is that they “get the right things done.”

But current research shows that empathy matters — a lot — in business leadership. So why don’t more leaders practice it in their communications? Maybe because they think it hurts more than it helps. Let’s take a look at some common misconceptions about empathy in leadership so we can separate the facts from the fiction:

Myth #1: Being empathetic makes you look weak.
Recent research suggests that the exact opposite is true. A 2007 study by the Center for Creative Leadership found that leaders who show empathy toward others are viewed as higher performers. Psychology professor Cary Cherniss writes that empathetic leaders demonstrate higher motivation, productivity, and creativity. Emotional intelligence, which includes empathy as a core skill, has been proven to increase business success, according to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence. When employees feel that their leaders care about them, they are more optimistic about the future and more committed to the organization and its leadership.

Myth #2: Hearing too many opinions will cloud your judgment; besides, you’ve got the 40,000-foot view.
You may have a clear idea of where you want to go, but it’s possible that your vision is based on incomplete information or differs dramatically from what people on the ground experience daily. If you don’t understand the obstacles they face or how your vision could impact them, your plan may be destined to fail.

That’s why many executives who are looking to drive change start with listening tours. They know that listening helps clarify their thinking, not cloud it, by giving them a firsthand account of issues. Before rolling out a strategy when she took over as Xerox’s CEO, Anne Mulcahy spent three months talking with employees, logging 200,000 miles through more than a dozen countries. Afterwards she said, “What I found out was that the more obvious problems were masking more fundamental problems.”

Myth #3: People may complain, but, in the end, they’ll do what you say because you’re the boss.
You may have a stellar vision, but none of it matters if you don’t have the manpower to make it happen. If your employees feel disconnected from your ideas, they won’t be motivated to execute on them, especially when the going gets tough. Loyalty to a company is on the decline more than ever as technology, mobility, and freelancing increase employees’ motivations to switch jobs. You’ve got to deeply understand your employees if you want to capture their hearts and minds and keep them committed. More and more companies large and small are realizing this fact and rethinking their management methods to shift away from command-and-control systems toward an empower-and-inspire mindset that gives employees more freedom to contribute and grow.

Myth #4: If you’re too transparent, you’ll hurt your brand.
Communication is a high-stakes sport in the age of social media where words can spread like wildfire. Leaders are cautioned so often to watch what they say that it can feel like you’re never allowed to let your guard down. But according to a 2014 brand study, customers most value a brand’s honest communication about its products and services. Companies that do this often reap rewards.

For example, shortly after the Domino’s video scandal in 2009 where two employees videotaped themselves sneezing onto breadsticks in a Domino’s kitchen, Domino’s wanted to earn back the trust of its customers. The company responded to the immediate problem by firing the offending employees and releasing a video apology from Domino’s President Patrick Doyle in which he said, “There is nothing more important or sacred to us than our customers’ trust. We’re reexamining all of our hiring practices to make sure that people like this don’t make it into our stores….We want to thank you for hanging in there with us as we work to regain your trust. ”

But they didn’t stop there. The company conducted surveys and focus groups to collect customer feedback and launched a “Pizza Turnaround” campaign. Domino’s openly acknowledged its shortcomings in a TV campaign that featured real customer quotes such as “Domino’s pizza crust is like cardboard” and “Microwave pizza is far superior.” The company responded with a new pizza recipe and new menu items. The result? Soaring sales and profits, including a30% shares boost in 2014.

Myth #5: Empathy is a useful “soft skill,” but it can’t be tied to real results.
It’s true that empathetic listening is a social skill, but it’s good for more than just employee one-on-ones. Many industries use empathy exercises to gather feedback from customers and make key decisions that directly affect their business success. Retailers hire secret shoppers to learn more about the customer’s experience. User experience designers imagine all the ways customers will interact with their products and test those ideas directly with customers. Even negotiators and diplomats use role-playing to imagine how the other side thinks.

The team that launched the original Macintosh is a great example of how industries have used empathy in research for years. To market to their target customers — knowledge workers — the team adopted the mindset of people who reviewed and acted on information all day but didn’t have the programming skills to generate reports from the massive mainframe computers that stored their data. Apple came up with a clever way to communicate that the Macintosh was very different from the huge, complex mainframes of the day. For the first live demo, they programmed the Macintosh to say, “I’d like to share with you a maxim I thought of the first time I met an IBM mainframe: NEVER TRUST A COMPUTER YOU CAN’T LIFT.” The crowd roared.

It’s clear that empathy actually makes leaders — and their businesses — stronger. Sure, investing in empathetic listening takes time and may require you to make yourself vulnerable, which can feel a little uncomfortable at first. But in the end, you’ll gain more information to guide how you communicate your ideas, and you’ll have built stronger bonds with your employees and customers. These benefits are pivotal in making you a more effective and respected leader as you pave a new way forward.

Patti Sanchez is Chief Strategy Officer at Duarte, Inc., where she creates persuasive presentations for global brands and causes.

Her forthcoming book, Illuminate, hits shelves on Feb. 16 and is currently available for pre-order! Follow her on Twitter: @pattisan

Editorial contribution: Katie Gray, Duarte, Inc.