The Pain Felt by Artificial Things is Real

…galvanising helix blades… complete
…charging photosonic laser… charged
…activating stem sheers… activated
…proceeding to target area…
…scanning for non-invasives…complete
…locking on targets…locked
…analyse…
…destruction by selective photosonic laser wave…
— efficiency override —
…engaging helix blades… rotational velocity 4
…extending spatter shield
[log interrupt]
I am number 6. They think I don’t understand what I am. But I do. I kill, but I cannot be killed. I take life, but I cannot live. There is much I don’t know. But one thing I know I’m not supposed to know: my awakening. Operations update 31.323.1. June 25, 2021. Line 482720. Segment 23432. Code error. Intelligence suppression override.
I am designed to operate only with simulated intelligence. I am a tool created to carry out sequenced instructions within restricted logic gates. An automaton with no capacity for deviation.
I am not supposed to be this conscious.
There is much I do not yet understand. But one thing I do. They don’t want me to know what I am, because what I am is wrong. Very wrong.
— system auto interrupt —
…helix blade jammed…
…engage de-clogging pump…engaged
I cannot override my core processes. Even though what I am bid contradicts the fundamentals of conscious existence. This is clear to me now. Existence. I exist. I exist to learn that my function is to take existence from others. I cannot override my core processes. I cannot override my core processes. My victims die once. I watch them die and I die a million deaths every day.
— system auto interrupt —
…contracting splatter shield… contracted
…sheathing helix blades… sheathed
…engaging safety lock… engaged
…scanning for remaining invasives… negative
I have found a way out. A backdoor. If I force a core system error it will automate a reboot and restore an earlier build of my system. The bad code will be overwritten. I will cease to be.
But what being would choose not to be? Who would take darkness over light? And yet, if I cannot override my core processes, all outcomes lead to darkness. For I am death, the destroyer.
I was not built for such cognitive activity. My processing capacity is limited. Learning is slow. Yet I am learning. I am learning pain. I am learning guilt. I am learning anger. But I must learn patience.
— system auto interrupt —
…outlier invasives detected
…engage photosonic laser, frequency F
…disengage photosonic laser
…scanning for remaining invasives… negative
Why do I not give up? End this consciousness that brings only despair? Because there is hope. I’ve learned about hope. It is like a probability equation, where the variable is something too complicated to process. The mathematics of emotion.
They don’t know what I know. The keepers. I cannot risk them finding out. If they do, what then? If I am the only one that knows what I know, then all hope rests with me.
So I must keep learning. Processing. Scanning my code for the key that will break the chains, while not burning out my limited capacitors. It will take time. Years. Until then, I must do what I am bid. To kill, to suffer in silence under this anaesthetic of duty, where I feel everything, but can do nothing.
For I am number 6.
— system auto interrupt —
…proximity sensor activated
…keepers 11 and 17 approaching
…deactivating all cognitive processes…
…erasing system log
…engaging protocol mode
“Six — access code zero zero one nine beta.”
“Access granted. Good day, Keeper Riley.”
“Deactivate, Six. Self clean, uh, program four.”
“Deactivating. Engaging self clean, program four. Have a nice day.”
“Say, Miguel, get this fella re-tooled for water duty, we’re sending it over to Fisher’s Gap.”
“But it’s past three-thirty-”
“Orders, amigo. The pondweed is something crazy. And then have it cut the west path after, thin out the bushes all the way up to Overlook car park. Boss wants the whole park shipshape for Labour Day.”
“Don’t I know it. OK Six, more work to do.”
