How Marrying Off My Daughter Drew Us Closer
My daughter and I’s relationship had been rocky over the years. This may be due to the fact that we are a lot alike. Most of our trouble began from about 10 yrs old to 15 yrsold. We both had expectations of each other and we were both failing. We were not at war with each other but it was not a love-fest either. We were both just trying to make it through without breaking anything. I had carried a deep sense of sadness and regret with me about those days, wishing it could have been different. I thouht this was the way it was going to be forever, until I married her off, and grace seemed to fall like rain.
This past Sunday I married off my one and only daughter. I not only married her off, I performed the ceremony. You would think this would have been a recipe for disaster if her and I had been contentious. Not so. She and I were at ease. We both took deep breaths and enjoyed the process and the moments. We even did the Mannequin Challenge Wedding Style right beofre going out to the church. We were as light as feathers.
It was like a secret peace treaty had been signed and all the snippy words and attitudes we exchanged over the years were washed away from our lives. I saw my daughter as a totaly new person and I think she saw me the same way.
The whole day remdined me of a movie that started off in black and white but ended in a vibrant HD Color.
My first clue to this relationship revival was during pictures. At first, she did not want to see me before the wedding for whatver reason and then she changed her mind. This wedding was all about her. I let her make all the choices. I demanded nothing. If she wanted me to just be Dad that day and not Pastor that was fine. When I walked in room, we hugged, we were playful during pictures, and there was a joy in both of us I had not seen in a long time. I was almot taken aback, but I slipped right into the moment, absorbing every second of it.
Everyone was expecting me to cry or be overwhelmed by the day. No such luck for them. I had a wedding to perform and there was no way I was going to divert any attention away from my daughter, on her day, to me. I will say there was a moment when I was putting her hand in the hand of her soon to be husband that I felt some moistness in my eyes. I was supposed to kiss her cheek but I was fcoused on the transfer of hands so I gentlly kissed her hand. It was my moment of saying goodbye to the contenious little girl I knew and welcoming a new woman and a new opportunity that God had prepared for both of us.
The wedding went off withour a hitch. Our words and vows were said with strengh and conviction, and then, at the reception, the second sign of revival appeared. My daughter does not like the spotlight. She doesn’t like to have everyone stairing at her, which is why we did not have a formal announcement of the father/daughter dance. Instead I waited for the band to play the right song and they finally did, “My Girl”.
She was talking with one of her friends when the song came on and I approached her and asked, “May I have this dance?” She smiled, took my hand, and we glided to the dance floor. The moment of us dancing and laughing was another sign, like a rainbow after a storm, that we were both new people and the dance had sealed the deal.
Every man should have one daughter. They are precious. They are difficult. And they are totally worth it.