INDIGO GLOOM.

Paula Nahmi
Aug 26, 2017 · 2 min read

Paint me a flower garden.
So i could stare at it whenever the shackles of my mind's prison rattle words that dim the light from the star's constellations i created inside me.
"Cygnus,Cassiopeia,Cephus."
Let the colours be unicorn dusted, because there are days when grey is only what my eyes can see and black is the colour painted on the thousand tonnes of iron that settle between my lungs, slowing my every movement and leaving me in bed all day.
Give me a life jacket.
It will help me tread water created from the tears of my utter insanity. Maybe then, my heart will be buoyant and will lull in the colour of blue waters, even though it's just for a while.
There's a mirror against the wall.
It keeps count of the many days i have barricaded myself within these four walls, Swan diving into the neurotic abyss of my brain's chemicals. Books have now become the distraction my brain has succumbed to, deviating to meadows other than the strolls in gloomy parks it is originally inclined to.
I need a sign.
One that doesn't stem from the influence of fluoxetine.
One that ensures me that i will be okay.
One that says i shouldn't be afraid of living.
That there are people who love me and can be trusted, for being lonely is but a trip down the spiral, leading me to boredom and immense darkness.
And though I don't know how to breathe on days like these because every thing is exhausting, happiness is up the spiral and clinging on to dear life for a feel of it could be worth nothing but a pocket of gold.
I may be the daughter of chaotic thoughts who swoons at the sound of her own heartbeat's echo. I may be a walking corpse.
But, i am here to stay.

Picture credit:Good ol' internet.

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Written by

~Unst;tched Soul~

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