Once upon a time...
The year is 1968. We just had the evening meal and are all gathered around Mukaaka for today’s dose of the evening tale before we retire for the night. Yesterday, she promised to tell us more about her youthful days and as expected, every one, each and every one in our family of 18 is eagerly waiting for her to start. But of course, we have to wait for the grown-ups!
You can feel the family bond in the atmosphere, so strong, you’d have to work really hard to break it. Meanwhile, we are all busy finding out how each other’s day was. There is resounding laughter, so memorable, it can be heard at the neighbor’s! The kind of laughter that is good human medicine- an escape valve for family tension. We are laughing because a cousin just narrated how he fell in a pool of muddy water while fleeing wild pigs!
Fast forward to the early 2000’s. Only the privileged own what we shall refer to as the mobile phone. It is a symbol of prestige and honor. To have one, you must incur costs such as the service fee and air time. Not many can afford that but as we are yet to see, this changes drastically in the near future. We have time for our family and friends and by time I mean we know how they are doing and not just superficially. We are not distracted!
Enter 2016, an era where the mobile phone has become the 21st century addiction- a cool one, I must say and road signs are almost reading: Go slow, people texting! For 2017, the number of mobile phone users is forecast to reach 4.77 billion (via www.statista.com)
I’m Mukaaka now and just arrived a few days back from Kabarole, very eager to see my little ones- aha, my first grand kids. I last saw them during the festivities last year. Oh, the stories I have for them!
My enthusiasm is short-lived because the moment the little ones come back from school, all I can do is give them a hug and before I know it, they are at the other end of the living room, if not in their rooms, tapping away on their phones. Even the youngest, at just 7, has a phone!
The parents return from work and yessssssss, my chance to finally talk to someone but a few minutes of conversation prove my efforts futile. My son carried work home while my daughter is busy preparing the evening meal. Out of courtesy, I decide to help her out in the kitchen. I actually have a great time there!
I understand family ‘commandments’ require everyone to be seated in the living room after dinner for prayers. While we wait for the man of the house to join us, I’m deafened by the silence in the room. Not because there is no one in the room, actually the room is full, but everyone is so lost in their phones -a stranger could walk in, take whatever they want and leave, without anyone taking notice! Someone stifles laughter. It looks like there is something funny on their phone screen and no, the rest of us cannot laugh along because we cannot relate. The awkward silence lingers…
I appreciate the changing times and the fact that technology is without question here to stay and that is a good thing. It would take me another day to write about its advantages!
My concern however is what happened to the values of loyalty, honesty, communication and laughter that defined relationships? From the inner courts of family right through to the circle of people we call friends. We wait for wedding ceremonies, family gatherings and burials to unite us because we've replaced these important things with virtual relationships. We have lost touch with reality and have let gadgets invade our lives. We say life without phones is boring but 2000 friends on Facebook is not something to brag about when none of them really knows you or will be there when you need them.
@JoyDoreenBiira tweeted:
‘We don’t talk to each other anymore, there’s WhatsApp for that…don’t look each other in the eye, there’s Instagram for that’
There is nothing wrong with you connecting with people on-line but at what cost? Not at the expense of your solid relationships!
So Fam, here’s an honest suggestion.
Take time off your phone. I’m not referring to that time of year when you have an exam to prepare for and have to keep your phone away or when you have an urgent report to submit. What I’m saying is throw your phone under the bed and forget about it for some time. Experience the calm you have when your phone is not the last thing you see and the first thing your mind runs to when you wake in the morning. Or the ease of speaking to someone in the same room without having to text them because for some reason you just can’t talk to them! Definitely not easy, but worth it!
The media throws 1000 and 1 things in our faces every day and yes we take it in, you need time to take some of that material out. Get to know someone at a personal level, breathe in and out, not behind a phone screen. Oh, and you will most definitely not die.
If being on your phone 24/7 does not put food on your plate or pay your electricity bills, you’re good to go!
