I hope you’re able to process what you’ve been through and start to write again.
I can honestly say I would never ask someone to have sex with me a 1000 times after they told me no. If someone behaved that way towards me, I would try to eliminate any contact with them as they have no common sense, consideration for others, or healthy boundaries in their relationships.
I have never heard about men experiencing pain because someone declined to have sex with them, maybe disappointment, sadness, frustration, embarrassment, or any number of emotional responses but not pain.
It would seem that in a healthy relationship, the desire to have a sexual relationship would be mutual. If you’re surprised someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, then I think it’s fair to say that you didn’t understand as much as you thought you did.
I would never agree to have sex with someone I didn’t want to have sex with in order to spare their feelings. I would never want someone to have sex with me because they believed my feelings would be hurt either.
We should encourage a culture where people are considerate of other people’s feelings and desires but not to the point where we sacrifice our own needs to meet theirs. Respecting ourselves and others is something we can’t compromise on. Anyone who tries to pressure us into something we don’t want to do after we’ve told them we don’t want to do it, doesn’t respect us.