Dear Mormon Man, tell me what you would do.
Amy McPhie Allebest

I think the conservatism of the LDS church and the strong culture of conformity are both its strength and weakness. People can frequently be creatures of routine and find well defined roles to be comforting.

Unfortunately when your role is diminished in the church such as being a woman or LGBQT, the pressure for you to conform to these church defined roles is strong both in terms of peer pressure and your own internalized guilt. The lack of flexibility in core church doctrines can never gloss over the real effects they have on many individual members no matter how politely and gently others try to urge them to conform to something that goes against who they are.