Is it even possible that men can mansplain about the meaning of mansplaining? Well, apparently it is. I wasn’t just mansplained on that particular day, I was describing an observation of women being constantly interrupted and men taking over to explain their narratives when the other person interrupted me to explain to me that this was called Mansplaining. I was manterrupted to be mansplained about mansplaining. Just like too many “man” in this sentence, men have the conscious and sometimes unconscious need to take over every argument.
Maybe it was a coincidence when I heard about the term Manterrupting recently while I was constantly being manterrupted during a field research. It is a term to describe men interrupting women over and over again with full confidence ignoring the women’s experience and knowledge.
I went for a field research along with a colleague for fifteen days and just after a few meetings I got frustrated and anxious about not being able to participate completely in any interview meetings. I was constantly being interrupted by my colleague and I was also being mansplained several times in the middle of the interviews and meetings. As a researcher, it is a well known fact that you cannot assume data, you need the answers from the interviewee even if you pretty much know the answers. However, my colleague answered the questions I directed towards the interviewee. To avoid flaws in the research, I repeated the question. However it added work pressure on me.
I usually call out such behavior but this time I decided not to do that because it was a short term agreement and I wanted to focus on my work as much as possible. Now that I think about it, I believe I should have called him out because I was exhausted of his behavior and me trying to forcefully participate. Eventually, I stopped making an effort. I basically did not enjoy the work even though research work usually makes me happy.
My colleague kept on mansplaining and interrupting me because he probably thought that he can explain things better. This colleague is one example but I have faced and I have seen other women face similar behavior from men in professional and personal spaces. It is highly frustrating that men and especially those men who declare themselves progressives do not respect women and their opinions. I have been doing qualitative research for at least three years but my colleague was doing this for the first time and he still did not trust and respect my experience and knowledge in it.
Such interruptions are part of our social circles too. I often find myself interrupted or other women interrupted by men trying to take over the floor. Sometimes the situation gets awkward when they use more exaggeration to share the same information or opinion shared by women in the particular setting. This shows how uncomfortable our social and professional circles are with women and their opinions. These circles keep pushing for hierarchy based on gender in the society. Women with a professional career still makes people uncomfortable and unconsciously or consciously men have that need to have the last say because they have a fear of losing their argument and their intellectual position where they place themselves higher than others. The research “Justice, interrupted: the effect of gender, ideology, and seniority at Supreme Court oral arguments” done in 2017 by Tonja Jacobi and Dylan Schweers from Northwestern Pritzker School of Law concludes the finding that women justices are interrupted three times more in the Supreme Court of US. Likewise, the study by sociologists at the University of California, Zimmerman and Candace West in 1987 concluded that “…power and dominance enjoyed by men in other contexts are exercised in their conversational interaction with women.” These findings are much applicable today in our culture although the research was done in the west. Maybe my colleague was doing this unconsciously but it felt like he was too determined to achieve power in that particular scenario and doing so he refused to let me participate equally. In our unequal society men enjoy power and dominance and this has seeped into conversations and now even in our professional settings. It is seriously affecting our work environment and to some extent our mental health. I regret not interrupting his interruptions but men and especially those who think they are progressive should be responsible for reflecting on their own biases and behaviors. Since such behavior maybe unconscious, men should think before they interrupt whether they are interrupting to have the last say, to dominate and gain power or there are genuine unbiased reasons to interrupt. Interruption is disrespectful in any context, therefore listening and then speaking have to be practiced. Although I know I should have called out my colleague, it is also exhausting to keep asserting for equal space every time, especially with the so called progressive “woke” men.
It is also high time we challenge today’s “woke” men in urban settings, especially in Kathmandu because mansplaining and manterrupting is still a part of these circles. The men refuse to self-reflect. I have experienced such behavior more often in these settings. Thanks to social media this perceived “wokeness” has given the men a certain kind of privilege that now they refuse to unlearn or think outside their so called progressive box. This has made them so pretentious that the issues they talk about has lost their meaning. It is strange to see these woke men talking about patriarchy and gender based biases on social media when the same men do not translate it in actual life situations and their behaviors. Woke culture becomes toxic when you do not tolerate other’s opinions and start believing that there cannot be any other meaning to being progressive. “Woke culture” that prevents men from reflecting on their own behavior combined with a deep unconscious pinch of patriarchy has led to constant mansplaining and manterrupting. Being progressive changes with time and unlearning and self reflection is a part of becoming more aware. This applies to everyone irrespective of their gender, caste and class. Moreover it is about giving equal space in professional and social settings and respecting experience and knowledge.
