Agree with Colin, it’s critical we have better tools and the language and understanding of how to be (as you nicely call it) transformative conflict. It’s THIS kind of thing and way of being that I wish they taught you at school and further into the workplace.
I can though think of 3 people I’ve worked with – all men – who created destructive conflict. Combative, power-crazy, “how very dare you” kind of conflict. Which is why conflict can get a bad name.
This kind of conflict just caused rage, arguments, animosity and interfere with the productive running of a team. Well outside of Henri Hyponnen’s neuroception of safety. Which is why I agree with you transformative conflict can feel safer because it’s clear you’re raising challenges and deeper discussion in pursuit of something better.
I’m reminded of part of the story I heard about Pixar and their creative tension process. Someone’s role to be the source of conflict creation to make sure the production wasn’t just a love-in or agree-fest.
Let’s get into some conflict to be transformative is an invitation I’d accept and the 3 destructive conflict creators I mentioned above, I’d now instigate a transformative conflict conversation 100%. Thanks for sharing this Lisa.