Empire Star Malik Yoba Admits Dating Trans Women, Receives a Torrent of Abuse

Phaylen Fairchild
Sep 8 · 3 min read

It’s incredibly rare for a man to admit that he dates transgender women, especially when they’re a renowned television and film star.

Such is the case of Malik Yoba, who has starred in features such as “Why did I Get Married,” and its sequel, as well as dozen of television shows including “Empire,” :Arrested Development,” and the upcoming adaptation of the hit film “The FIrst Wivs Club” took to his Instagram to defend men who date transgender women. What prompted Yoba’s disclosure was the recent suicide of Maurice Willoughby, who allegedly killed himself after enduring tremendous abuse from his peers for dating a transgender woman. Although it was later revealed that Willoughby took his own life after his girlfriend left him, as she reported that she was fearing for her own safety and felt he was already unstable.

Prior to the story of Willoughby further unfolding, Yoba used his social media to plead for the men who experience abuse at the hands of peers who relentlessly harass and bully them for breaking a socially imposed tradition of preserving one’s masculinity.

The now deleted post was met with a sudden influx of hate levied directly at Yoba. There were hundreds of “You’re gay” and “Fa**ot” comments, as well as others calling him “Mentally ill,” and making fun of the actor.

The attacks against Yoba became so severe and threatening that the post was immediately removed, but that did not stop aggressors who took to all of Yoba’s other posts in an effort to harass and shame him. Ironically, they proved his point.

This is the fate of all men who openly admit to consider dating transgender women. They are inundated with accusations of being gay, humiliated by their peers and in the past, it has resulted in the murder of the trans woman the man is dating. Quite often the abuse is transferred to the targets love interest.

This happened to me.

I was dating a man who hailed from the south. When his close friends found out I was a transgender woman due to their pursuit of my online articles, the tormented him. It began with snide remarks, dick jokes and of course, labeling him a homosexual. This made our relationship increasingly tense as he pulled further away emotionally and became riddled with feeling of social inadequacy and embarrassment. In fact, he came to hate himself for loving me, and then eventually hated me for not being capable of stopping. Perhaps he saw me as the catalyst for the minimizing of his person, or believed I was at fault for the abuse he was enduring and thus isolated himself to avoid it. He was ashamed of himself and I was his shame. The led to him becoming increasingly hostile, exhibiting unpredictable behavior, threatening to commit suicide before eventually becoming physically abusive toward me.

It wasn’t the man I had known, who never met a stranger and would give his last dollar to a person in need. I watched as his shame changed him, completely distorted him into someone completely unrecognizable. After we separated, he met another woman after a few months and today they have a beautiful daughter. The woman he settled down with is not transgender, but he no longer bares the burden of being berated and tormented, both internally and from outside forces, for who he loves.

So, while it is rare for any man to openly admit that he would or is dating a transgender woman, the consequences for doing so are a “results typical” scenario. It shouldn’t be this way.

Men deserve better than this.

Phaylen Fairchild

Written by

Comedian, Actor, Opinionator, Filmmaker, Activist. http://twitter.com/phaylen All work copyright deliciousdiamonde@gmail.com

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