It is possible to fly
Do you want to know how to fly? I do. Months ago, I was going through the nightly bed time routine with my daughter. As I was tucking her in for the night, she drew me in close and whispered in my ear,
“Daddy, can we go eat breakfast together in the morning? It can be a Daddy/daughter date.”
My mind was immediately flooded with the grown-up circumstances surrounding our family at the moment she asked the question. These were the finer details she knew nothing about, things like budgets and income. It was because of these “grown-up” concerns I told her no. A crazy thing happened when those words came out of my mouth that night. My heart broke. In fact, it shattered.
Why did I say no? Did I want to say no? Absolutely not! Everything in my being wanted to take her to breakfast. To make a long story short, I was afraid to say yes. I was afraid to step out and fly. Here is the catch: I succumbed to fear and called it wisdom.
Over the last year, I believe Jesus has been teaching me how to fly. Stick with me for a minute, and let me explain what I mean. When Ava asked me to take her out for breakfast, I should have said “yes” no matter the circumstances. This is because it was good. Jesus endorses with all of the resources available to Him everything that is good. When He places good desires into our new hearts, He is ready to facilitate the completion of those desires. But to see this completion, we must do a lot of things that feel like flying.
There is something within that needs to come to the surface. This is such a unique time for my community. We are all waiting with patience the provision of the Lord. We need Him to come and show up in a big way. Our hearts desires are so big, it seems. But I know He is bigger. What seems big to me is not to Him. In fact, He can do exceedingly abundantly more than we can ask or imagine. I am not sure I can do more than to seek understanding in this time of waiting. This is where I find myself most days. I am seeking to understand the Father’s heart toward us while we wait for Him to do what only He can do. Are we able to come along side of Him in these moments and help the process? What I mean is: are we able, by our own efforts, to speed up the process, to not have to wait as long? I feel silly even writing this question. Clearly God doesn’t need my help. Over the past year, I have been made aware of all the soul work being done within me. None of this work has been mine. I have written before that time is the great distiller of desire, but I want to add another ingredient to the mix. I think it is time, plus limitation. Maybe limitation is the same ingredient as time for me. This is possibly the Grace of God. As a man, I am very limited in what I can accomplish. Time is present because of my limitations. I must wait for fulfilled desire because I simply do not have what it takes to enter that desire right now. In this way, limitations equal time. The greater the limitation to desire, the longer the time it takes to fulfill the desire. Is this possibly why we settle for mud pies in the slums? It often hurts to desire because we come so close to our own limitations. Therefore, we focus on the desires in which we are not limited in fulfilling. We build a life around these activities to constantly distract us from the deeper, core desires of our hearts. We call it “entertainment” when it is simply distraction. Waiting hurts, so we distract ourselves with desires that are instantaneous.
As people, we are equipped with an almost limitless imagination.
Desire is proportionate with limitation.
Limitation is proportionate with time.