Freeing the Feminine Voice —
What l‘ve learned about the power of sisterhood from Spending 7 Days in a Women’s Retreat
As women we generally won’t deny the complicated relationships we’ve had with the women in our lives.
Which is why I was so utterly shocked by how easy and fast it was to trust my throbbing, vulnerable and tender heart with 19 women on a women’s retreat, who up until a few weeks ago, were virtually Facebook strangers. I fell in love hard and fast, as I witnessed the courageousness of these soul sisters — hearing their challenges, stories and internal judgements, and seeing us drop all of the sh*t around sisterhood hurt to embrace each other, fully and completely.
Growing up, it’s not hard to see why we mistrust other women. The traditional narrative perpetuated in mainstream media has women competing with others for men’s affection, money and love, being “backstabbing bitches”, “catty witches”, and unable to elicit trust or deep connection and vulnerability.
“In our world behind the tattered veil of so called civilization there is a War on the Feminine; and many of those against us are in fact Women.” — AppleCat / Mya Hardman
What we’re really craving as women though, is our ancestral roots of true sisterhood. We long to be reconnected instead of competitors, and allies through thick and thin instead of vying for the male gaze.
Rising from the shadows of feminine genocide, wounds which are still raw in the collective consciousness, we are seeing an awakening of the Divine Feminine.
Contrary to many critics, this awakening is not only about women stepping into their power and a renaissance of matriarchal structures, it’s about acknowledging the feminine essence inside of everyone, regardless of whether you identify as a man or a woman.
When we come together in sisterhood — as allies and not competition in this journey together — being role models for our daughters in how our bodies should be touched and respected, using our voices to share our message even if they shake, and coming out against abuse and inequality on all fronts — we liberate all women everywhere to do the same.
PURA VIDA — THE RETURN OF SISTERHOOD
The retreat was completely unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life — women coming together for seven days to fully and authentically support one another in their growth and be vulnerable in sharing their hearts. (*Big ups to the incredible Nisha Moodley, retreat doula Annana and crew for creating such a safe and supportive container for raw connection, deep internal work and real sisterhood).
I won’t dive into the itinerary of what we experienced in our time together (which may or may not have included a group skinny dip and evening poolside moon ritual), but what I can share are the big takeaways I have from this journey.
There is a force awakening around the world, and this force is the rising new era of Feminine Leadership.
TAKEAWAYS
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.
- Carl Gustav Jung
- We need close women in our lives: The experience of being really seen, witnessed, and heard by other women gave me permission to be my fullest authentic self — something we too often take for granted. The power of being real, raw and vulnerable creates space for our fullness, brilliance and truth to emerge unguarded.
- Cultivating a better relationship with oneself is key to our success: Through our work with ordained Priestess Elaine Doughty, we went deep within to reconnect with our unguarded hearts, lay down our shields of mistrust, and claim our sovereignty with the dignity of a true Queen. What would the world really be like if we could lay aside our judgements, blame, and comparison — which ultimately are reflections of the judgement, blame, and comparison we hold towards ourselves.
The double bind for women is that if they show too many female traits, they may come across as more likeable but come down a few notches in the authority they command as a leader. — Margie Warrell, Would We Like Hillary More If She Were A Man?
3. The Need for Feminine Leadership: As the co-founder of the Awakened Woman Conference, I’ve come to ask whether the core of female leadership is not polarized with how we view masculine leadership (aggressive, authoritative and competitive in order to win)— but instead arises from a synthesis of more masculine qualities such as ambition, resilience, and independence in relationship with more feminine qualities of vulnerability, compassion, and empathy. There has been a movement towards heart-based leadership, where a balance is struck, and leaders actually lead from a place of heart, empathy and vulnerability (qualities our world could use more of).
So how then do we fully embrace our core feminine essence to have more fulfilling careers and lead successful businesses? How do we move from a life & work based on competition, fear and imbalanced power to one of collaboration, radical intimacy, and expressive sensuality? These are questions I often ask.
“This apparent need to punish female sexual desire as something evil, dangerous, and pathological is not limited to medieval times or remote Mayan villages. Recent estimated by the World Health Organization suggest that more than 100 million girls and women are living with the consequences of genital mutilation.” — Christopher Ryan, Sex at Dawn
4. Embodied Feminine Sensuality is imperative to living freely: Drink that in for a moment. 100 million girls and women! Anyone who denies there has been a suppression of female desire for millenia is gravely mistaken. So why the need to suppress FEMALE DESIRE? As a very recent mother & female empowerment specialist, the arrival of my daughter has shown me why embodying our sensual nature as women is so crucial to our liberation; mentally, physically, socially and politically. Owning our pleasure is akin to owning our power in many ways, and when we women stop feeling shameful, guilty or remorseful for enjoying pleasure in the myriad of forms it takes, we liberate ourselves and start owning our Queendom!
Listening to our bodies & honouring our voice is critical to the liberation of not only ourselves, but all women!
5. Your Message is Your Medicine: Expressing ourselves as women and speaking our truth hasn’t always been easy. With support from KC Baker — we learnt how to let our messages arise authentically from our bodies. But not too long ago, large numbers of women (estimates ranging between ten thousand and a few million) were executed during the Inquisition. for literally speaking their truth. It’s no surprise there is such a subconscious fear in the psyche of the feminine in stepping forward to speak up!
We need to unleash the silent muzzles that we may still wear and that still keep women from holding back on speaking out against violence against women, about physical sovereignty of our bodies and reproductive rights.
While we celebrate the many strides forward we collectively have achieved in the last hundred years made for women; the rights to vote in Canada, rights to maternal benefits, progress with natural birthing, genital female mutilation being banned from Uganda, #freethenipple, support for public breastfeeding, and so much more — there seems still so much work to be done in the equality and unification of masculine and feminine.
The original aim of International Women’s Day back in the 1900’s — to achieve full gender equality for women the world — has still not been realized.
At the current rate of progress in America, women will not see equal pay until 2059*, one in every four women still suffer from some form of sexual abuse, and women aged 15 through 45 are more likely to be maimed or die from male violence than from cancer, malaria, traffic accidents and war combined.
We deserve to live in a world where our voices are celebrated and not criticized for being “pitchy” or having vocal fry, a world where we don’t need to sacrifice our feminine essence in order to to be respected and hold positions of power.
We deserve a future where women are honoured to be women, where we as women are respected and supported to express our creative capabilities, our innate desires to deeply love and be loved, and see the planet treated with the utmost respect and love she deserves just as WE AS WOMEN DO.
So — how do we create this world? It starts with Sisterhood! March 19th is Global Sisterhood Day; so gather with the women.
SO WHERE DOES THAT LEAVE US & WHAT CAN WE DO TO CULTIVATE A DIFFERENT FUTURE FOR OUR DAUGHTERS, SISTERS AND OUR MEN?
Cultivate Sisterhood in your Own Life
- State your Intentions on what kind of Sisterhood You Want in Your Life: Ask and you shall receive! When I declared I wanted a bad-ass sexy, sassy group of women devoted to themselves, one another and personal growth on my vision board, I received not one — but three! Having been witness to our shared challenges, collective courage and embodiment of our desires — I’m sold that sisterhood is one of the fastest most fulfilling paths to personal growth there is!
- Gather with Women in Circle on March 19th — Global Sisterhood Day: Founded in March 2015 by Nisha Moodley, this annual global event is an opportunity for us as women to collectively take a stand for a future that is only possible when we rise in connection, support and celebration of one another. Get your girls together for a sister circle; make a meal together, create a dance experiences, or just get together and connect on what’s important to you.
We’re starting a revolution. A revolution where feminine sensuality & passion combined with dharma, purpose, and career will transform the way we work in the world. If we can reclaim the strength and power that resides within ourselves, we begin to heal the world through our own personal reclamation.
When 100s, 1000’s and millions of us feel this liberation —the effects are contagious. Your dedication to feeling more juicy, turned on, and confident in your own sensuality is the key to helping awaken yourself and the rest of the world.
While there have been many tomes and books exploring the history of the feminine, I’m devoted to my own rediscovery of the feminine, reclaiming my dark shadows, delving deep into the mystery’s of women’s magic, and understanding how that synthesizes with being a woman in the 21st century.
We’re being called to step into the Initiation of the Awakened Woman — a free and sovereign being who claims herself first with a ferocious love, complete acceptance and tends to her own wellbeing and empowerment.
My desire is that articles like these can empower women to stand up with their voices — and start or continue leading from a place of inspired Feminine Leadership so that we can together create a world safe for the feminine, in all of her forms.
Rise up sister. The time is now.
If this article gave you the feels, please click that little green heart below! Grazi
Visit Phoenix’s site for free resources on discovering your Sensual & Mythic Self, articles like these, and updates + contests for the upcoming Awakened Woman Conference in Bali 2016.
She’s passionate about spreading ideas on the liberation of female sensuality, radical self-love, and becoming your most Mythic Self. Email her at phoenix@phoenixmuranetz.com for interview inquiries, podcasts, and event opportunities.
