Help, I’m stuck under a sleeping baby and I have to pee … NOW!
That’s it, you finally got your child off to sleep, then, you need to pee. And unlike the precious bundle of joy that’s currently sleeping off his milk, in your lap, and most importantly, your bladder area, you are not wearing a diaper.
If you move an inch, you might wake him.
You contemplate the classic “roll” out from under him, but that won’t work, far too much of a jiggle.
You try to slide him towards a soft landing, next to you on the bed — but he makes a noise.
Scared that you just nearly woke him up, you decide to breathe in and attempt a ninja style move that’s a cross between the “roll” and the “slide”. Fail.
You even consider taking him with you, but you know that the bodysuit + boyfriend jeans combo that you put on this morning simply won’t allow for that.
As tears of agony start to roll down your cheeks, you know it’s time.
You pick up baby and put him in his crib, simultaneously awakening him and what seems like an orchestra of squeals and howls. You momentarily regret the next hour that you’ll spend rocking him back to sleep. And then, you make a last ditched attempt to run, jump, fly across the room and to the bathroom before your bladder explodes all over the floor.
