Validation
I’ve never wanted to not write something as much as I don’t want to write about this topic. Mostly because I don’t care enough about it to want to address it and I’m a passionate person, I don’t like to do things half-heartedly but I’ve gotten to a point with my writing where I no longer have the luxury of putting my personal prejudice first. What has to be said will be said if we are going to do this “quality living” thing together.
A few weeks ago there was this tweet making rounds about people only posting their aesthetically pleasing friends and not the ones they run to when they are in trouble. Everything about that tweet irked me. What does “aesthetically pleasing” friends mean? If we truly go by the meaning of friendship then aesthetics shouldn’t even matter at all, but are we going to pretend that there aren’t some elements of truth in that tweet?
You see the thing about validation, especially social media validation? Nobody is going to admit that they feel pressured by it. Every other day, there’s a superior hot take about how social media is not real life and how we shouldn’t seek validation online and every one claims “it can never be me”. But it is you. It is all of us. The fact that you take 20 pictures and take out time to select, probably edit and only post the best 3 is you taking time to present the best version of yourself to us. There’s this subconscious pressure to present yourself as perfect to those watching. You know how you sometimes delete captions over and over again until it looks right? Do you know that people pay for captions to be written for them? Sometimes you delete a whole post because of a typo or spelling error or because someone commented on your weight. You like a picture but don’t want to share because it’s slightly blurry. You might not want to admit it, but social media has become a stage and we are all performers dishing out our most captivating content. You my dear are a content creator 😂😂
A few weeks ago, I realized that social media validation is such a problem especially as it is beginning to erode common sense. So it was my birthday a few weeks ago and I had so many wishes, calls, text, you know? The usual. Birthdays are usually those days we all wait to remind people how special they are to us ( We are all on this table😩) So someone wished me “Happy birthday” on his WhatsApp status and I didn’t see it. I was doing a final sweep to be sure I’d responded to everyone when I saw his message accusing me of ignoring his wish. I looked through the chat and couldn’t even find the said birthday wish until I checked to see the “status” post was still up. It was in that moment I realized that 80% of the birthday wishes I got were posted on WhatsApp status and IG stories and most of these people didn’t send me a message directly. I also realized in that moment that I didn’t get as much birthday wishes as I initially thought, because it is not a birthday message if you shared it to everyone else instead of me. My birthday was the same day with Mother’s Day and I started to wonder how many people actually reached their mothers to wish them Happy Mother’s Day, How many called? How many sent a gift? Why are you writing “Happy Mother’s Day to the best mother in the whole world” when you blocked your mummy from viewing your status? Is your mummy even on WhatsApp?
When you share celebratory post on WhatsApp status. Do you realize that all you are doing is sharing a nice picture, with nice words timed to last only for 24hrs to everyone but the person that needs to hear it the most? Am I saying celebrating people on WhatsApp is bad? Certainly not. But it’s foolish to do it without sending a direct message first. What if the person doesn’t view your status? It is actually silly that I’m having to point this out but I’m choosing to be the super hero that will save us all from future clown behavior 😩😩
Now, what exactly is the moral of this gist? Social media has all of us on choke hold, but don’t be forming maturity and pretend like you don’t like to be in this space. Choosing not to post doesn’t mean you are mature ( You don’t post, but you are the first to view🤡🤡) Choosing to portray a perfect image of your life has repercussions because people are waiting to see your flaws and you are now convinced that you owe them an explanation when you fall short. (Just think of exes that set up ring light to drag themselves on IG)
The moral of this gist? You are who you show us. You are that filtered picture, that typo you corrected, the memes you share, the cruise you catch… Often times, we try to separate who we are on social media from real life, but it takes mastery to be two different personalities unless you have a disorder. That glimpse you show us might be an altered part, but it is still you regardless.
The real moral of this gist? Envision the best version of you, Thrive to be the best version of you in real life and on social media, show up as that version unapologetically. Let me end by saying “When you focus on your flaws, all your perfects will be dim”.
