2016 a year in review
This is my third year in review article on Medium (2015, 2014). When I wrote my last review, I had hoped that when I got around to writing the next one it would be the most positive so far. Lets face it though, 2016 was an awful year and it doesn’t look like things will get better soon. I ended my review last year on a slightly positive note by saying
“ I hope that the next twelve months won’t be as quite stressful or heartbreaking.”
Oh how wrong I was.
If you had told me twelve months ago that Britain would vote to leave the EU (and slowly beginning to slide into the V for Vendetta parallel universe), I wouldn’t have believed you. If you had told me twelve months ago that the United States of America would elect racist and misogynistic Donald J. Trump as their President, I wouldn’t have believed you. And if you had told me that a person who I considered to be one of my closest friend turned out to be a monster, I wouldn’t have believed you. Yet all of these came true and I don’t know what to believe in anymore. My core belief that humanity is destined to learn from the past and progress for the greater good has been completely and utterly shattered (and people say I am a pessimist). And I haven’t even mentioned all of the people who inspired me who have past away over the past twelve months (since writing the initial draft of this, at least three more people have joined the list).
All of this is depressing. I need to write about some of the positive things that happened to me in 2016 (otherwise I will make myself and you miserable). It kind of feels odd for me to admit this but I am not sad for a change. 2016 was actually one of the best years for my mental health in a very long time.
I rang in 2016 with some of the most amazing and inspiring people I know. This was probably by far one of the happiest memories from the past year. From New Years I continued to maintain a balanced work/life, took up running, started cooking/baking regularly, passed my job probation, finally accepted I am what I am, made some new friends, and in general started to look after my health and wellbeing more.
Discovering that I liked running without a doubt helped my mental and physical health this year. When I run it feels like I am alive and all my worries no longer matter. You’re probably thinking that I am crazy for saying that running makes me feel alive. I don’t feel alive when I’m not running? Well…yes…maybe, it’s hard to explain. Right now, I know I am alive but I don’t have a euphoric feeling that says “OH YES, I AM ALIVE AND THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN STOP ME!”. When I run, thats how I feel.
I started running back in February thanks to my best friend Karen who made me aware of how great it is. I used the C25K (Couch to 5K) app to slowly pace myself and build up a routine. Soon I was running 5K 3–4 times a week. I felt great and my body was in the best shape it has ever been in. Overall I felt fantastic and I was planning on taking part in Hell and Back later in the year.
It was all going so well until I fell. Well…blacked out and then fell is probably more true. I was running around the outskirts of Merrion Square. I felt pretty normal when all of a sudden I found myself on the ground. I have no recollection of falling and I have no idea how it happened. I hurt my arm pretty bad so it was a few weeks before I went running again. This time I had to stop because I was seeing stars and I felt like I was on the verge of collapsing. Eventually I decided to see my doctor (my friends had to persuade me to go) and she referred me to a cardiologist. I stopped running after that. I had to get an ECG done and then a few months later I had to wear a Holter monitor for 48 hours. These were a horrible few months of waiting. I was terrified that they would find something wrong with my heart and that I wouldn’t be able to run again.
Last week I saw the cardiologist and after doing a surprise stress test I was informed that my heart in excellent condition for someone my age. I was given the all clear to start running again as long as I drink more water and increase my salt intake. It will take me a while to get back into my old routine again but hopefully in the New Year I will be back doing 5K several times a week. After that I plan to focus on finally taking part in Hell and Back.
Not everything in 2016 was positive for me though. I had some low points during the year and in hindsight I can see that I became less social as the year progressed. I also have a load of regrets but I feel I have learned from them and am now more prepared for what I will face in the future. I do believe that there are many dark days ahead but I need to try and stay positive and be prepared for whatever the world decides to throw at me. I can and I will survive 2017.
