“Hi beautiful, write a snapshot blog, current situation goals, process”
A command honeyed with pet names found it’s way to my email.
It had been sent the previous day by yours truly, during an unremarkable night in Austin.
It might seem conceited to write yourself an email, but the habit’s been with me ever since I adopted it as a low tech way of accessing files from multiple computers back in college. This was back in the days where physical memory was still expensive; before everyone had their head in the clouds.
I’ve had multiple unsuccessful attempts at blogging. I griped in livejournal, messed with templates on blogspot, left countless intro posts in new platforms.
Is it conceited to think this time it will be any different?
The part of me that wrote the email wants to be stimulated. It was his first day back from a trip to Atlanta, and seeing old friends led him to the realization that he was deeply unhappy.
His job barely pays the bill and elicits looks of compassion or distaste when others talk. His food palette has grown bland, and he questions his relation to the people around him.
Strangely enough it was not conversations with my friends that led me down this path. It was a shared moment of intoxication with a woman I had consciously avoided in the past.
Sitting on pool chairs, shivering from the breeze we started with the usual small talk of where is your life and why. Our responses were strangely frank despite our lack of familiarity. They were both full of sadness and uncertainty.
In telling her about my current situation I learned a lot about myself, and gained some motivation. I can only hope the conversation helped her as well.
In this blog I want to share a picture of my current situation. What I am, how I think, the way I choose to use or waste my time.
I’ve been listening to Goldfrapp and Phantogram.