I’ll wade through lava lamp goo problems

Digging into failure

and bruises

and memories

Yes especially memories

Bitter with thoughts of distance

But i still can’t rest

I can’t rest because even if i sleep these badgering troubles don’t leave

Debt doesn’t leave

Worry doesn’t leave

Fear doesn’t pack a few suit cases and drive across the country

It just simply is across country

I wish i was across country

I just don’t know how to win

Even everytime i cross a street i wonder if this will be my last step, my unlaced ungraceful ungrateful step

I wonder what if the car doesn’t stop this time;

But when i finally get to the other side of the street I feel so average that i think maybe it’ stupid to think of those things at all

I’ve changed a lot in the matter of few years and i still can’t decide if it’s For the better or for worse

But as time passes , each month

Floating in space

I try to at least understand my unhappiness

My secret gloom

And nonchalant melancholy

But i feel like i don’t deserve to be

Trapped in sadness

Because i do not necessarily live in unfortunate circumstance,

Because of this brick wall of reason i can not rest

I sleep but only in forms of nightmare

I can not rest

I can not