If you are casting rope, where is your gaze?
Are you looking at your hands? Perhaps the placement of the ropes?
If you are receiving rope, where is your gaze?
Are you looking at their hands? Perhaps the placement of the ropes?
Where is your focus?
You know where your hands are. You can zip or unzip your fly without looking at your crotch each time. You can put on your shoes without looking. So why do you have to look at your hands while binding? Or while they bind. You do more things with your hands without having to look at them — so why now?
If you love receiving, you don’t have to look at their fingers to know where they are. You don’t have to look at their hands to feel their touch upon your being.
Eyes off hands!
Are you focused on your partner?
Are you seeing them in the now or are you wondering about what they will say in the next moment, or tomorrow, about this? Or maybe you’re mulling over what those around might be thinking of you?
Do you see the emotional changes on the skin of your partner?
Eyes are one tool of focus, but so are all your other senses. You’ve spent your entire life with the gift and use of all these tools. Don’t waste them.
Can you hear their anticipation wax and wane in the pace of their breath? Are you feeling in your skin, their flushing and cooling places and how the heat migrates as you touch them? As they touch you?
Are you feeling your own hungers and being honest to them? Or are you doing what you think you’re supposed to be doing.
When are you? Because if you’re not in the now, you’re not occupying the same time-space as your partner. Which means the two of you are playing separately.
Come back to the now. It just takes a few breaths.
Chin up. Straighten your posture. Engage all your sense.
See your partner in the pitch blackness.
Feel your parter through the tautness and vibrations of a single strand.
Hear both your desires through the silent rumbling across the floor and up through you.
Move without thinking.
To do all this, first you take your eyes off the worries.
Where are you?