As you alluded, the two sides are having completely different conversations. I don’t know a single pro-lifer who thinks women are too dumb to make their own decisions. And I don’t know a single person who’s pro-choice who goes around saying, “Let’s go abort some babies!” That’s simply not what’s happening.
Instead of being out to get each other, the reality is that one group puts the baby’s interests first, and the other puts the woman’s interests first. But we keep having these parallel conversations where we repeat our own argument over and over without EVER actually responding to the other side’s argument.