This hits home so hard that it hurts to read.
If it's of any comfort, I wish I could be 24 again, it sure beats being 30 and feeling like that, existing like that, for too long.
You're a kindred spirit, I feel for you, but hopefully you'll find what you need or who you need to live a happy and fulfilled life; wake up everyday with a purpose, to have someone to laugh with and cry with, someone you deserve, someone that revives you.
One of us has to be lucky, I wouldn't mind if it was you.