Hey Emily: I know exactly what you’re talking about, having covered courts and cops for years. Murders, triple murders, murders of babies and toddlers and entire families. Fathers shooting their children in the head and setting them on fire. Babies tortured before they were eventually killed by their parents. Children dying in accidents on Christmas Day. Children raped by their fathers, grandfathers, older brothers, mother’s boyfriends. Endless and unforgettable pictures of autopsies and horrific crime scenes. Descriptions of rape and child pornography. After a while, you sort of absorb the awfulness and learn to deal. I’m at the old day job (h/tKC) so I will write more later. But yeah: this is totally normal. Also, I would direct you to the Dart Center for Journalism & Trauma, which has info about the impact on journos covering trauma . I like your idea of making this a happy place for yourself. Be well, and more later…And don’t forget: Life. Is. Beautiful. Namaste, Heather