I’m sure you know that it isn’t about winning or losing, it’s about me trying to make space for both of us, so that there remains love between us. I love E. And I know she loves me. But we are in a space that is not healthy for either of us. She is going through something, not just teen angst, but she won’t share with me. I do think part of it is that she is afraid that she will struggle with depression; that I will too closely read her, and it’s not something she wants to hear. I cannot stay if she won’t let me in and chooses to lash out instead. She needs to deal with whatever she is dealing with, with help. And I don’t think I’m much help right now. She’s made it clear she wants me gone, in space. She’s too old for me to put the hammer down, If that makes sense. I called a couple of therapists yesterday for her, and I’m waiting to hear back. And there is the issue of my own mental health. I am recovering from a major bout of clinical depression. I simply cannot hear things like “move out” and “kill yourself” from the person I love most in the world. So yes. It’s probably a bit of selfish self-preservation. And I’m perfectly ok with that.