This. All damned day. And of course you’re right: racist America has decided what Black women “should” look like. The whole thing is so effed-up. As a white girl, I do get those messages: skinny is best. No tits no hips no tummy=yummy. But as a woman? Damn! I LIKE having hips and tits and round places. I don’t know. Maybe it is less Black and white and more men and women.

I had a convo tonight with the man I’m seeing. I felt good about telling him: I am not interested in being a board because that is not MY body type. MY body type is one with curves; don’t get me wrong: I’ve been a size zero/2/4: and it thrilled me. I felt like I won a competition. Of course, the price of admission was extreme illness, but still. We are told we are not valuable unless we are that skinny. I’m comfortable at a certain size (for me, a 10), Because with it I retain my curves. Heavier and I feel fat; thinner and I feel ill.

All I know for certain, Ezinne, is that you are beautiful and an amazing writer. And that Should be enough for anyone.