What I Learned From Dating Women Who Have Been Raped
Emma Lindsay

This actually highlights something I’ve had a problem with for many years — bystanders attempting to redefine someone else’s experience for them.

When I was working at a bookstore, I overheard two customers talking about one of them sitting in a coffee shop and a man came over and gave her a flower. She said thanks but no thanks, I have a boyfriend and he left the flower there and went back to his table. The other woman immediately said “Oh my god, that’s rape. You were date raped. Does [your boyfriend] know?” and I just wondered how often a person is traumatized not by any sexual activity, but by their friends and family *telling* them they were raped.

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