President Trump is Allegedly on Fire
President Donald J. Trump is on fire, walking around the Oval Office. After his meeting with Salvadorian President Sánchez Cerén, an undisclosed anonymous source has confirmed that the 45th U.S. President is on fire, walking around, and putting the entire country at risk. According to current and former U.S. officials, President Trump’s actions could be considered a constitutional crisis.
Unverified sources say that President Trump caught aflame while leaning over an open flame while dipping a chip into the guacamole that President Cerén brought as a gift for the U.S. President. Current and former U.S. officials confirmed that the fire was hot and that the flame may have originated from a candle planted by the Russian government.
Current and former U.S. officials have confirmed that President Trump has not noticed the flames and is walking around the Oval Office looking for the thermostat. White House staffers are too scared of the flames to get close enough to the President to extinguish the flames.
“Putting political opponents aflame is a classic tactic of the Kremlin,” the senior U.S. official said.
A former U.S. official who once acted as the White House fire marshal who handled high-level White House fires including the Hot Pocket incident during the Clinton administration said that the flames were, “way bigger and hotter,” than she had ever seen.
There is no timetable as to when the flames may subside.