Modern Mindfull-ness

There’s nothing like a good wake up call to really change your perspective. Sometimes those calls come from people, from within, or perhaps from a particular event or circumstance. My most recent one came from an ultimately not-so-tragic incident involving my iPhone and a cup of water, and the brief, 3 day hibernation it took to recuperate in a sandwich bag full of rice.

It wasn’t until this incident that I realized how many different things I was constantly trying to do at once, and how much it had completely taken control of my life. I was all over the place trying to be everywhere at once while simultaneously not being present anywhere at all. I was only ever on my phone, managing group messages, checking emails, keeping notes, taking process pictures, counting calories, tracking my activity, and monitoring “productivity” in any way I could possibly think of. Incidentally, I now realize that not only did using my phone all the time make me much less productive because I was trying to manage too many different things at once, but it was also making me a lot more miserable and unmotivated by setting unrealistic goals for myself that I was never able to meet. My brain was constantly flooded with things to do and things I should be doing, and completely unable to focus on where I was at any given moment.

As a designer interested in user experience and digital interaction, of course I’m not discrediting the helpfulness of a mobile phone. It’s absolutely amazing and pretty necessary in the modern world to be connected all the time, and a lot of the time it’s also very convenient and enjoyable.

But I think we often make it a lot more difficult for ourselves to use this amazing resource in our pockets because it also offers a platform for distraction.

Part my personal issue in this realm is that I tend to make life a lot harder for myself in general by trying to “beat” my own goals. My phone recorded that I took 12,000 steps yesterday? Better make it 15,000 today. I wrote a blog post and applied to an internship this last weekend? Better write five more pieces and find seven other places to apply to by the end of the week, or else I must absolutely be a failure.

Writing down lists and staying organized is important to me and probably the only thing that keeps me slightly sane, but tracking myself so intently on my phone and constantly reminding myself of how I could have been doing “better” at anything and everything was keeping me from using it for what it’s really good for: Connecting with people and accessing information when you may need or want to.

Being extremely attached to my mobile device to track my entire life was keeping me attached to other things as well, and keeping me from moving forward. My several days with out the constant stress and tracking in my pocket opened my eyes to a deeper understanding of a quote that I’ve heard in many different yoga classes and discussed with many different teachers and important people in my life:

Being so attached to something that was, on the surface, helping me organize myself and keep track of particular goals for the day was actually fueling my anxiety about not being able achieve them in the “right” order or amount of time, and left me feeling like I couldn’t get anything worth-while done. I think that I knew on a deeper level that a lot of stress I was experiencing was self-inflicted, but being with out the constant reminder of what I needed to be doing and where I needed to be and when finally allowed me to literally look up and enjoy the scenery on my walk to class, smell the early-blooming spring flowers of Savannah, and remind me that life is usually more enjoyable when you are able to let go of expectations.

This exercise in letting go of attachment to set goals had me thinking about the evolving nature of design, and how frustrating it can be to work on a project where there seems to be no “right” answer. Despite knowing I may never find the “right” solution, I often found myself desiring to achieve and push myself to find the “best” one. In reality, the process of designing a solution to any problem necessitates letting go of preconceived notions and desires, and is ultimately iterative — in order to move forward, we must let go of the past.

After having a chance to live with out the constant little glass monitor in my pocket, my eyes have been opened to the fact that keeping track of our failures and successes isn’t ultimately what’s going to make us more successful in the future… Instead, learning from what we’ve done, and allowing ourselves to let go of the pain or investment we’ve attached to particular ventures or creative endeavors is what gives us the power to create what we initially desired to.

It’s not really worth it to beat yourself up for feeling somewhat lost or landing in a different place than you originally intended. Every step we take is all just part of the process in moving forward. The destination we’re ultimately looking for may always seem out of reach (or keep mysteriously changing), but putting one foot in front of the other is the only thing we can really do. We may not be able to determine distance, speed, or even have any idea where we’re going… but we are offered the chance to allow ourselves to feel comfortable in leaving footprints behind as we keep on learning how to tread on.