Failing Gracefully Within Polyamory

To fail, to fall, to lose, to hit bottom, hit the skids. Other than being an interesting thesaurus entry, we all fail to be successful at many things over the course of our lives.

Relationships are really no different. And statistically, those of us who practice polyamory will fail at more relationships than anyone else.

If you date twice the number of people, you are likely to have twice the number of heartbreaks and twice the number of breakups. There is a category of person who believes that polyamory allows a more gentle slide, because relationships are less an “all or nothing” proposition.

However, even if this is true, we have all had breakups that had nothing to do with whether we go up or down a relationship escalator or want the same things.

Almost all of us have those relationships that fail on a dramatic scale at some point. The breakup is more like a blow out. Rather than a tire that goes gently flat while the car is parked, these relationships blow out while doing 70mph on the highway.

I’ve actually lived through a situation where I’ve had two partners break up with me within the same week. That’s simply not something a monogamous person ever faces.

It’s things like this that can cause us to question ourselves, our relationship choices, and…