One Rule for Polyamorous Beginners

The best rules are no rules, but one simple rule can framework success.

Having moved through many types of nonmonogamy I’ve had the chance to move through almost all types of rules. This includes everything from full on signed BDSM Dominant/Submissive contracts all the way down to no rules at all, which is my current setup.

And I would never want to move backwards. My current relationships are all built on communication and boundaries, not rules.

But for most beginners, going in without rules can be scary. And there is good reason to be scared.

Moving from monogamy to polyamory requires a complete overhaul of your communication tactics. It’s not only what you talk about, but how you talk about it.

And for many couples, they fear they could head into a train wreck or ruin their marriage because they are in a Catch 22 situation: You can’t fully appreciate the communication skills polyamory requires without being polyamorous, nor be successfully polyamorous without the communication skills.

Rules are not a replacement for good communication, and you should never feel that way. If you do, you really will be headed for a train wreck. But rules can help teach us to communicate when used properly.