LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED FROM BEING AN INTROVERT

A Typeset that says “Ugh, People”
Photo by EJ on Pinterest

If you want to be happy, learn to be alone without being lonely. Learn that being alone does not mean being unhappy. The world is full of plenty of interesting and enjoyable things to do and people who can enrich your life.

— Michael Josephson

Dear Introvert, I wrote this for you…

The best way into an introvert, they say, is through his heart, because that way you get to see them for who they truly are and being one for so many years, I could concur to that fact. I still remember years ago when my high school physics teacher called me into his office and said “You have potential but you keep hiding it because of your timidity and tendency for distractions” and that was true, apart from the fact that I was unknowingly struggling with ADHD, I always had that inner gut feeling that I could always be better than I was but then epiphanies like that only dawned deeper in me at a point where it seemed too late[when I graduated from High School].

Typically, tons of introverts are easily gaslighted because we are the type to facilely get hurt by even the lightest words and that seems to pose a risk in our day-to-day sociable trysts. I hated having to know that I would have to go out each day only to feel objectified by people whom I perceived to be intellectually higher than me; when I am alone I feel like the smartest person in the room but tables turn when I’m around friends or social gatherings and I feel like that guy who just doesn’t like to talk mostly because he isn’t “smart enough”(sometimes I wonder if my friends think that way of me too).

According to Healthline, there are four elements of introverts:

Social introverts have the tendency to prefer interacting in smaller groups of people or sometimes enjoy their own company alone.

Anxious introverts often have the need to spend time alone because the company of other people tends to catalyse feelings of shyness, lack of awkwardness and social anxiety. These are mostly the personality types that suffer from anxiety and so when left alone, they tend to deliberate on past experiences or worry about future ones.

Thinking introverts have the tendency to get immersed in their own imaginations and immersed in thoughts.

and there is the one particularly interesting type which is…

Inhibited Introverts are more of the self-control specialists, they tend to act with restraint than impulse. They tend to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves, and they take their time to consider their options when trying to pursue new sensations and thrills.

It is very possible to have a blend of any of the four elements.

People tend to have a lot of misconceptions about what introverts truly are like internally and externally which creates the stigma surrounding introverts. To begin, not all introverts are antisocial, there can also be ambiverts[those who are in-between the introversion — extraversion scale] who have a balance of introvert and extrovert features in their personality, they enjoy both spending time with others and spending time alone, depending on their situation and needs at the moment. Extroverts often have little or no grasp on what it feels like to be an introvert and so they might not understand why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion.

Furthermore, being an introvert does not naturally mean being more ingeniously creative as this characteristic often stems from Openness, a character trait from the big five personality traits , so having optimum levels of openness might make an introvert more creative but this case isn’t true to all introverts.

Besides that, introverts are regularly called out on their poor leadership skills based on how inward they behave thereby favoring the extroverts. Essentially speaking, people tend to think of an extroverted personality when they picture a leader. Introverts have excellent listening skills, can stay focused on long-term goals, and seem less intimidating so people may accept them.

In summary, Introversion lies on a spectrum and exists on a continuum with extroversion so you have pretty good chance that you lie somewhere in the middle. Most importantly, remember that one type isn’t “better” than the other, Each tendency has their benefits and drawbacks depending on the situation. If you are an introvert, you can find ways to cope if the stimulation from the outside world becomes too much. By better understanding your personality, you enable yourself to play it to the best of your strength.

Picture by Lea Rose Emery on women.com

If you read this this to the end, you are either an introvert or you know someone who is, if the former is the case, you will be fine trust me, meanwhile if the latter is the case, thank you very much, the world needs more people like you.

Photo by Introvert, Dear on Pinterest

Leave your comments in the comments section and let me know what your thoughts are on this.

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Architect(In View) || Data Scientist || UX Designer || Bibliophile || Environmentalist || Literarian || Philosopher || Philanthropist || Psychologist

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Adewumi Fadele

Adewumi Fadele

Architect(In View) || Data Scientist || UX Designer || Bibliophile || Environmentalist || Literarian || Philosopher || Philanthropist || Psychologist

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