All I can do most days is cry out to God. I’ve been hurting for some time now. I’m not here to write some fancy story. I’m not wanting to dot my I’s or cross my T’s. I’m wanting my pain to subside a little, It does on some days; other days it just builds inside me until I have to let it out. I’m not sure who I am supposed to be anymore. Something happened that I can’t comprehend and at times refuse to accept. I’m tired most days, lack of energy, hardly eat…I’ve lost something inside me. I miss the man I used to be, he’s all I’ve ever know. Since turning my life over to God two years ago all hells broke loose here. Two deaths and my son getting sick as well. I’ve tried to remain faithful and pray that I have been pleasing to God. He knows I’ve been mad at him. I pray he forgives me. All I can do now is wait…wait on Jesus’ return. I believe then and only then will my heart be healed; my soul…the suffering seems too hard to bare. God forgive me. Show me who you want me to be. I’ll wait on your perfect timing because I have no other choice. I simply cannot wait to bow down at your feet and thank you for all you’ve given me. I now know what it’s like, the feeling of losing everything, having to rely on you alone. It’s been so very hard but I believe for some reason you have kept me. I feel so weak Lord. Please give me strength.

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