As a species evolved to never be satisfied with what they’ve got, we’ve really come a long way. From ‘I just want someone who cares enough’ to ‘I just want someone who encourages the foodie in me’, we’re all looking for relationship needs that are always changing. We’re moving from logical demands like ‘Someone who understands’ to stuff like ‘Someone who likes hanging out with my girlfriends’.
Can we all just take a glorious step out of our enourmously inflated bubbles and ponder over the fact that we’re being absolutely ridiculous? Why are you expecting your spouse to be this life sized version of the fictional character in your head who has absolutely no mind of their own, no likes and no opinions? Maybe he says he likes you without makeup on because you actually look prettier? Maybe it’s just an opinion and he likes you anyway. Maybe he doesn’t want to hang around with your girlfriends because he feels out of place? Maybe she isn’t texting you all the time because she’s giving you space while maintaining hers? Maybe she doesn’t find the need to keep a daily track of your life because she trusts you?
Maybe we need to start expecting people to be more honest, rather than focus on such trivial things? Maybe we need to be able to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’ or ‘I’m upset with what you’ve done/said’ without sounding desperate or weird? Maybe we need to encourage people to express without having to worry about what someone might think?
Why can’t we be ridiculously honest and be absolutely okay with it? Someone out there probably wants to speak their heart out to you but is holding back because you’ve gone around flinging little expectations that don’t even matter.
Can we also talk about the fact that we don’t give much thought to most of the things we say to people because it’s been used so often it’s value is lost? Using words completely out of context just because you haven’t got anything else to say. ‘This sandwich is awesome! You don’t know how much I love you!’ What about the actual joys of life like graduation, or your dream job or marriage, or your first born? What words are you going to use then? You already wasted ‘awesome’ on a freakin sandwich and ‘I love you’ on someone you probably haven’t even looked at or cared for in years. Words used sparingly and when meant to be used are excessively important. And it is shameful to think that this is something we have left far behind. Saying things we don’t mean. Using words we don’t understand the significance of.
Be brutally, unforgivably honest, and mean what you say. That’s probably the best deed you could do for yourself and for the people around you. We’ve talked about ‘the little things that matter’ like they are the foundation of every relationship. Maybe it’s time to talk about the little things that don’t, and do something about the bigger things that do.