Speech at Shishir-Namrata’s wedding reception (19th June 2016)
One of the best lines I’ve heard about marriage goes like this –
“We put so much into making the wedding perfect, yet so little into the making of the marriage”
My thought for Shishir and Namrata on this day is — “Design your marriage”.
As with any great design, in marriage as well, “less is more”. So speak less, listen more; plan less, experience more; save less, enjoy more; worry less, dance more; expect less, love more; whatsapp less, show up more; impress less, express more.
You may think that much of this bohemian advice applies only to love marriages. Yet, all marriages are arranged, aren’t they? The difference is just “by who?” Destiny has a funny way of enjoying her own production from the backstage, while different actors take chances to claim credit for bringing two people together. You two, were already together and have always been — making choices and taking steps that fit like a jigsaw puzzle, exactly as she had planned so that you could come together today. Remember that fancy job, perhaps in Hong Kong that you turned down Shishir? And remember that high school crush that you decided not to pursue Namrata? Those were just your stars “arranging” your already-committed souls into a marriage, yet again, in this lifetime. So don’t ever fall into the trap of being more practical and less romantic simply because you were married through the traditional route — the falling in love has just begun; go with the flow and savour it.
Marriage is a work of art. Life will fill it with plenty of colour on its own. Your special work will be to create white space — in your relationship, in your emotions and in your possessions. I’ll leave you with something that my favourite poet, Kahlil Gibran, wisely wrote –
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. And stand together, yet not too near together: for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”