This year, I will celebrate my “dating anniversary” for the 21st year with my love, my husband, & my best friend. Alan and I have been together now for 20 years, and married for almost 13 years. We are actually husband-and-wife, best friends, twin flames and soul mates whatever word you want to give it.
Yet in my heart, we are really witnesses to each other’s soul’s expansion. We are witnessing each other evolving and growing and that’s why we have so much fun sharing our miracles and synchronicities with each other. To be blessed to have someone loving you while witnessing your transformation, growth, and evolution is truly a gift.
We have been through so much together in this relationship and with working together in business since we met. We still really LIKE & LOVE each other. We have grown up together. We met when I was 20 and he was 18. We have been blessed to become more of ourselves knowing it is safe to expand and be vulnerable together. As parents, we get to experience ourselves on even another level of growth and evolution. Our love continues to grow and I just cannot explain my gratitude for this relationship and this journey.
We love celebrating our “dating anniversary” and our “wedding anniversary.” Our girls who are now 8 & 10, enjoy being a part of the celebration of our love too. The best thing is that even though we make these anniversaries special, our family’s intention is to focus on love DAILY. We are not perfect at doing this, but it is our family’s natural state of being. A foundation of LOVE that we always return to. It is one of our core values.
My vision of LOVE and romance has changed over the years. I learned about unconditional love first in my marriage, then when I became a parent and later in my 30’s, I learned about unconditional self-love. My idea of love now, is definitely different than when I first fell in love at the age of 20.
When my husband and I first met I needed constant reminders that I was loved in order to feel fulfilled and also to trust that we were ok. These little actions at that time when I was 20 years old, were really the only way that I could truly “trust” that someone loved me. I didn’t even know which actions “meant” someone loved me except for the ones I had grown up and learned, heard or observed.
Was he going to grab my hand at the movies? Was he going to open my door for me? How was he going to prove his love to me that day? Would it be a Hallmark card? What did my dream of love look like? How would I know? How would I recognize it? Would it be ok if it looked different than on TV or how I grew up?
There is a ton of “social” peer pressure when you have a new love or existing relationship, to act in a certain way that might be considered ROMANTIC. Friends and family would ask me: What are you guys doing for your anniversary? What DID you do for your anniversary? What did HE get you? Wow, such a pressure to perform. And I thought to myself, gosh, if he didn’t do something amazing or anything at all, then maybe he didn’t love me? Maybe I wasn’t special? Or maybe I had to shift my focus…And, after 20 years of being together our needs and desires would evolve past typical romantic norms.
Well, I happened to meet the love of my life in Peoria, IL, where we were going to college and as fate would have it I was destined to meet a guy on campus who was not actually raised in the United States. He had only lived here for 4 years or so before we met. He had no clue about certain holidays or anniversaries as he was raised with a single mom (he also had never heard of the movie Grease, but I will save that story for another day, LOL) So, I had some work to do here.
Maybe I would have to change my mind about love or change my beliefs about what love looked and felt like. What I thought I knew about love or what love was, and what I learned from outside of myself and from others, maybe this information was not true for me/us? It took us many years to create a love that worked for us and came from within, rather than comparing or thinking it should be different.
It was not easy, and took a ton of work, evolution on both our parts and commitment. It is so worth it to define love on your own terms and figure out what feels best to you and your partner. To experience unconditional love and to be your fullest, truest, most authentic self on good and bad days is a miracle and a blessing. It is completely possible if you are ready and willing to do the work.
(Wait as I am writing this, my everyday Romantic Love, just brought me a peeled orange ready to eat slices in a pink bowl and I am upstairs….this is what it feels like to have a Romance all year round.)
Our Handmade Cards Created With Love
I know my vision of LOVE has certainly changed over the years. It took me some time to recognize love because it appeared different than I expected, thought or learned. In the movies and on TV, we are taught to believe how love might look. The media and shopping industries want us to “show” our love in specific ways, on specific days, but I prefer daily love and romance. I first had to redefine what romance was and what it looked like. I believe romance is really “connection.”
We are seeking a deeper connection than the day-to-day life that we build with our spiritual partners. We sometimes look for a confirmation that we are still putting an effort into our relationship to authentically and lovingly connect with one another.
We still do something fun for anniversaries and holidays and make cards for each other. Our girls also love to create homemade cards with their own artwork and stickers. Over the years, I noticed that it was much more special to appreciate and understand the daily love I receive rather than on any specific day. I had to Change My Mind about what love & romance was supposed to be.
Here are just some of the daily loving things that my Romantic hubby has shown and continues to show:
He helps me with my work, from doing graphics, building my website, creating my logo, and always supporting my dreams (We have always been business partners)
- He makes coffee for me every single morning and brings it to me wherever I am in the house
- He often drives me and our girls around to do errands I could do alone and waits in the car (the invention of the iPhone has created so much patience)
- When we had babies, he was in charge of helping me prepare my iPod with my hospital version of: Having a Baby Playlist
- He changed most of the diapers for our girls for years since I was the one nursing
- He is there for us all the time and makes us laugh
- He almost always goes grocery shopping with us & always helps me empty the car & put away the groceries
- I cook, and he helps, and also does the dishes
- He will come up to me and say, “Have you hugged me today yet?” (yes after 20 years)
- Kissing all of us goodnight every single night with hugs, kisses, snuggling and laughter
- Carrying the laundry up and down the stairs without ever complaining
- Going bike riding & playing at the park with us
- Letting me pack and telling me I didn’t take too much
- Honoring my feelings and emotions without judging me; allowing me to be me
- Always complimenting me, telling me I look beautiful
- Learning with me how to safely and loving resolve conflict so we can honor what we have worked so hard to build for our relationship
- Being kind everyday, and taking care of his energy (meditating & more) so he is aligned for himself and for our family and the world
On a random day last month, he staged this toy rose outside the bathroom door, so before bed, as I opened the door there was a rose with his iPhone flashlight shining upon it.
I could go on and on because after living this way for 2 decades, we are really grateful for our Romantic lifestyle of love, instead of just romance once in a while celebrating on holidays. Our love is very mutual. He is this way with me and I am this way with him. Of course flowers, chocolates, jewelry, gestures, & gifts are amazing, I just feel that those are all nice if they are in addition to a Romantic Lifestyle. Not in place of one.
Being a Momma to 2 beautiful daughters, what is my dream for them? How will we model to them what love may look like? How good can it be? Our girls are growing up seeing LOVE modeled daily instead of just on holidays or anniversaries. They see how much Daddy loves me and how he treats women and how he shows up in the world. They are learning how to recover when emotions get the best of us and how we reconnect and re-align our energy. They see us taking time out each day even if it’s just to hug each other and connect. This is how they will know to recognize love. It does not matter as much what we teach them, it matters what they see and feel and observe.
So here are 3 Secrets to Manifesting a ROMANTIC lifestyle:
1. Make a Decision: Connect with yourself and review what your definition of love is. Decide how YOU want to feel rather than listen to how others say LOVE should feel. Learn to recognize acts of love & romance that differ from what we learn through the media or how our families or friends believe love should look. Understand that true love can show up in many different forms. Know that love adds to your well-being. It feels good. It honors your spirit and touches your soul. Love feels safe and respectful and is kind. One of my favorite quotes is by an amazing spiritual teacher, leader and mentor, Dr. Wayne Dyer: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” @pranaboost (Tweetable) Decide to change the way you define love and create your own version that feels best to YOU! We can change our story & our beliefs of what love means to US.
2. Raise Your Vibration and Be Mindful Of Your Own Energy: It is important that you take care of yourself and be sure that you are ready to attract & receive love by being the love you wish to receive. Be kind to yourself, be loving out in the world, & be mindful of your thoughts of love. You will notice love more often as you do this, because that is what you are focused on. Do things that feel good to you and connect with yourself so you can show up as a whole person/partner to your love that is here or on it’s way to you.
3. Be in a state of Gratitude and Appreciation: The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on expands. We are like magnets. So if you spend time everyday focusing on things you are grateful for and happy about and appreciative of, you will by law receive more to be grateful, happy, and to appreciate.
So go ahead…REDEFINE LOVE and UPGRADE YOUR BELIEFS so you can learn, grow and be happy in life and make everyday life Romantic…
Tina Louise Balodi, a.k.a. Prana Boost Momma, is an author, Life & Soul Coach, New Age Guide & Parenting Mentor, Mommapreneur, Researcher, and humble student who is raising her family to follow their intuition and always remember they are a spirit having a human experience. She is the Co-Creator/Founder of PranaBoost.com and she has been co-creating everything in life for 20 years with her best friend, business partner, Soulmate/Twin Flame husband, Alan. Together, they are raising their little girls, Isabella Sara (10) and Gabrielle Alexa (8) consciously & mindfully, using all the techniques she shares with others and empowering families to co-exist, love and thrive while following their own hearts and intuition. Her unique parenting skills also include: Crystal Healing, Angel Cards readings, practicing EFT-Tapping with her kids, balancing everyone’s chakras & making decisions using Penjie™, her pendulum. She is the author of the forthcoming book, The Prana Boost Method of Parenting™, A Guide To Mastering Mindful Parenting Through Unconditional Love, Intuition, Nonviolence & Emotional Intelligence. She shares her stories and lessons with the world so we may all have the chance to Raise OUR Vibration, Raise OUR Family & Change the World™.