Living to tell the tale

Experiences from a Sangh brainwashing session

So yesterday I went to the BJP office here for a story on the local body elections and after getting the required info, decided to submit myself to some Hindutva brainwashing. While coming out from the office, I met the Sangh’s regional co-ordinator to ask him about their influence in the IT sector. His face lit up and he talked at length about the RSS’s weekly ‘IT milans’ in which “around 30 employees from Technopark” participate.

To get more out of him, I decided to pose as one of those soft Hindutva types who eat beef, but are bhakths of the dictator. The conversation veered to Sasikala teacher, who is known for her highly communal speeches across Kerala.

He — “Recently, when there was a backlash against Sasikala teacher, our supporters from the IT field were able to reverse the conversation by quick interventions”

Me- “But, don’t you think the likes of Sasikala teacher will drive away many supporters from ‘us’?”

He-“That’s true to an extent, but you need to understand the background from which she is coming. She’s in Malappuram, which is almost like Pakistan. Mid-day meal is not served in schools during Ramzan (A point at which I had to resist hard the temptation to mention that story which disproved this mid-day meal myth). You won’t even get water from the restaurants during Ramzan. Ayyappa devotees are abused if they are seen on the road. I will give you more examples…”

Then he proceeded to give me a long list which boggled my mind at the ability of these creatures to make anything communal.

The list…

1. “Have you seen that movie ‘Ennu ninte moideen’? (For the uninitiated — A big hit in Kerala currently. Based on the real life love story of a Muslim man and a Hindu woman). That movie is a conspiracy by the Muslims”

Me- “But, wasn’t it directed by a Hindu?” <innocent wannabe sanghi expression>

He- “Check where the funds came from. It’s a message to us that they will take away our girls. It’s already happening across Kerala.” <He refrained from using the term Love Jihad, probably he has seen the cobrapost expose>

2. “Parking along both sides of the MG road (in Thiruvananthapuram) is banned from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. But, have you seen what happens on Fridays (mosque day) and Sundays (Church day). The Police let everyone park their vehicles on these days. Now, try parking your vehicle near a temple on any day. They will promptly put a fine. See, everything here is against us Hindus.”

3. “During Onam and other festivals, we Hindus buy stuff from all shops. But, next time during Ramzan and Christmas, closely watch where they shop from. The Muslims will shop only from Muslim shops and Christians from Christian shops only. They will ruin us economically. Muslims tell among themselves to never buy gold from Bhima Jewellers, owned by Hindus. They all buy from Malabar Gold.”

Me — <oh-my-God-I-never-knew this-expression>

Now that he had given me enough examples, he went into attack mode, telling me all those things that the sanghis are capable of in Kerala, but are not doing, for some reason he didn’t specify.

“See, in Thiruvananthapuram, we Hindus are in majority (mrigeeya bhooripaksham is the Malayalam phrase he used). If we want, we can close down all the slaughterhouses and meat shops. But, we are not doing it. Yesterday, Muraleedharan (Kerala BJP chief) himself said that there are no issues in eating beef in Kerala. Then, why are they conducting beef fests in Kerala?”

<Just try closing down one shop, sir. Just try>

As I was about to leave, he told me — “You should meet Sasikala teacher and talk to her. She’s a nice human being. I will arrange you a meeting with her the next time she is here.”

Maybe, I should. Just to get an idea of the amount of filth remaining unknown to the world inside her brain.

He also gifted me with a Malayalam handbook on RSS- ‘Agents of change’. Let me now take some lessons and prepare for the meeting with Sasikala teacher….