insecurities . . .

Do you struggle with fears and insecurities in your walk with Christ? I do.

And the fears seem so silly and illogical when I say them out loud. I’m afraid He’ll stop loving me or He’ll beat me over the head with past sin or allow my past to destroy my witness.

I almost feel like I shouldn’t be admitting this and I’m oversharing.

Not only that, but all of those things are the very antithesis of what Christ is; John tells the story of the woman about to be stoned in his Gospel. As her accusers leave without stoning her, Jesus asks her “’Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’” and she says “’No one, sir.” He goes on to say “’Then neither do I condemn you. . . Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:10–11, NIV). That’s it — “Go now and leave your life of sin.” The King James translates it as “And Jesus said unto her, ‘Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” It absolutely blows my mind that the God of the Universe who knows every intimate detail of my being can love me despite knowing what my sin looks like. R. C. Sproul has said “God is minutely and acutely aware of every skeleton in every closet. And He loves us.”

It’s so easy to get caught up in the “Could He? Does He? Why would He?” and forget that He just does. There’s no reasonable explanation for His grace and we could never wrap our minds around His forgiveness.

I pray that God continues to show me His grace and forgiveness and love and mercy and help me understand what true repentance and forgiveness look like.

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