On Being 27 with 2 degrees and No Clue
I’m graduating law school in May.
This should be the high point of my life. A law degree can open many doors, provide many opportunities, the world should be my oyster. Yet, my impending degree feels more like an anchor than a lifeboat. I feel I now have less options than I did with my bachelor’s degree. And I am terrified.
I first fell in love with the law, when I took a business law class for my (then) finance major. On the first day of class, the professor delved into a discussion on constitutional law. And that was all it took.
I was hooked.
I walked out of class with my mind set that I would change my course (and my major) and go to law school.
After graduating college I took a year off to study for the LSAT. In that year I’d gotten myself a full time HR job that I liked and paid fairly well. I decided to hedge my bets and enrolled in the evening part time law school program.
So for the last four years, I’ve been making my way through a legal education. I’ve worked full time (minus brief stints for legal internships ) for a majority of those years. Now I find myself at the end of a long hard journey, and I feel worse off for it.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the study of law. I love the theory of law. I even love the setup of our Judicial branch & system(for the most part…well at least the theory). I, however, don’t know if I want to actually practice law.
I know I could find contentment in practicing law, if I had to. I have a passion for civil rights and before law school dreamed of being a civil rights litigator. I thus directed my legal studies towards a focus in litigation.
This path makes sense as I’m skilled in oral argument. I was a finalist in my school’s mock trial competition (with no mock trial team experience) on my first try.
I’ve also interned at the District Attorney’s office and found myself well suited for the lifestyle and intrigued with the day to day job duties. Litigation, as a career path, seems an obvious fit for me.
Still, I just don’t know if I see myself “happy” being a litigator.
I’ve considered other areas of law. I’ve taken courses in transactional (business) law: SEC regulation, business organizations, trademark law, and trade secret law. I’ve even looked into a path in ADR (alternative dispute resolution); earning two certificates for studies in arbitration, while also taking negotiation classes. And while I found these areas are interesting in their own way (especially loving the courses that give business insights), I still don’t know if they would be fulfilling career paths for me.
So, maybe I’m expecting too much.
Maybe finding your work interesting and getting paid well to do it is as much as anyone should hope for. Maybe, I’m deluded by the (possibly naive) millennial notion of finding fulfillment in your job.
I know many people look at their job as what they do to put food on the table and keep the lights on. They find fulfillment in the things they do outside of work, their family, friends, and hobbies.
And while I enjoy those things too, I’ve always been a person who is wholly consumed by passion. When working on a project or for a cause that I’m passionate about, I go into an almost frenzied stage of complete dedication and focus. I dedicate every waking moment I can to that project, and often sacrifice sleep, TV, time with friends, even my studies for it, if the needs of the project so require.
And when I’m doing this, when I’m in the trenches, staying up till 5am with work at 8am, just so I can flesh out a little bit more on some project that I’m crazy about…I feel a sense of euphoria, a sense of purpose, and happiness, that makes it all worth it.
And this is what I’m seeking.
I want a career that I’m so passionate about, that the sacrifice and frustrations I endure for that career are well worth it to me. I want to enjoy the hard stuff because I’m living my purpose. I want my job to enhance my life, not be a necessary evil to make the other aspects of my life more enjoyable.
I realize I am privileged.
Not only to be able to get an education, but to be able to even question pursuing the possible employment opportunities that a higher education brings. To have the ability to aspire for something that does more than “put food on the table”.
I understand that many people are struggling just for the ability to provide. Many would kill for the chance to go to college, let alone continue their education to law school.
In fact I’m sure there are thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of students who are, at this moment, praying for LSAT scores high enough to get into the law school of their choice.
And maybe, for those people, being able to go to law school, or having a job that can feed their families, is their dream; but, it is no longer mine. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
During law school, I’ve discovered that I have several passions; entrepreneurship, political engagement, tech startups, the rise and growth of the African continent, and reconnecting the African diaspora with their mother continent. Practicing law, just doesn’t seem to be one of them.
Now the question is, what do I do with my passions? How do I make a living off of pursuing them?
The only experience and educational training I have, is in areas I may not want to pursue anymore. Where do I start on my journey towards making a living doing things I love?
I will be graduating in May with a Juris Doctor in law. I will also be graduating in May with 6 figure debt resulting from pursuing that degree, and expectations put on me, from my attainment of the title “lawyer”.
I will also, I hope, be graduating in May with some answers.
