Why We Should Care Where The Moon Is At

Tellya, astrology gets such a bad press.

It is never outta the nooz for bein’ lame beyond all reason — an’ yet most people recognize their own star sign (even if they doubt its validity or dislike the stoopid animal Mother Cosmosis pitched ’em at boith).

Point is, most people also know how the Moon changes shape from day to day, kinda like an amoeboid Transformer drenched in loominous semen.

Sumtimes Moon is FULL, sumtimes she is CRESCENT, other times she is NON-DESCRIPT WEIRSDY SHAPE KNOWN ONLY TO MATH GEEKS — an’ I guess if’n you wanna be a simpleton ‘bout shit, prolly you could leave it at those kinda BASICS.

As an astrologer person, I would wanna take a diffrent view.

(In scientific circles, this POV is known as bein’ stoopid — a killer fact I read in a book sumplace.)

See, cos evry time amoebo-morphsy Luna runs through her geometric cycle, she got a diffrent take on the deal.

Full, Crescent & Math Geek prolly look the same to the naked eye evry time they show (less’n there is sum other effect pitchin’ outta the celestial vapors like she swells up or glows red or wibbles around jus’ for frickin’ kicks), but to astro eyeballs, the Lunar Landmark in the Sky we so know an’ love expresses her inner truths in ways shift subtly from day to day.

A Taurus Full Moon differs from a Gemini Noo Moon prolly moreso than hand-reared chicken eggs differ from a 27-speed vibratin’ dildo.

Tellya, Moon packs variety as constant, diversity as unity, fantasy as fact — an’ I figure sumtimes how her shapeshiftin’ ride across the Heavens is kinda like she is rollin’ her big ole milky eye at alla the people don’t acknowledge the role she plays beyond inspirin’ lycanthropy an’ real lousy love song lyrics.

So, next time the Moon is doin’ sumthin’ — Fullin’, Nooin’, Math Geekin’ or Randomly Wibblin’ — you gotta ask yourself … is this the same Moon I saw las’ night or las’ month or las’ year?

Is she not, like me, a creaturea subtle changes manifested over time bcs Narrative Arc Kinda Cosmos?

An’ even if she is brute, dead rock, spinnin’ in the Void beyond all purpose, why do I gaze at her more than just the one time?

Why does my story always got a fuckin’ stoopid Moon in it sumplace?

(This is not no exam, btw. I am jus’ promptin’ you to speculate asya flip through Medium, the internets an’ life as a supermutable Interacter-With-Things.)


Princess Balestra writes about astrology — principally bcs if’n she didn’t, the whole mythology would be downta sum other loser … but also cos she kinda likes it.

Prolly there are more reasons also, but this article is ‘bout YOU & not MOI.