People usually can’t differentiate what they really love and what they love the idea of.
You’re Not Meant to Do What You Love
Brianna Wiest

It’s a beautiful line. Just take a look and you are made to question at every decision you have made so far.

So I can ask myself,do I really love research or I just liked the idea of it because it gave me the recognition,respect that I aspire for.

Simply put give everything to the task/job because generally it is in human nature to like something which is rewarding and what is more rewarding than being the best and winning!