Just Wake the Hell Up

That’s your main goal
Three days ago, I blogged about getting off the bed as my goal and then typing what could happen if I did that

Let me specify a bit. I meant waking up early at 5 am im the morning so I wouldn’t be rushing and making excuses.

After that day, I did get off my bed.

At 7:30 am…

I was taking my sweet ass time since I didn’t want to feel rushed with anxiety and be Zen for awhile.

Well… here’s what happened that day.

5 am

Go up to an annoying alarm sound coming from my iPhone.

Stopped the alarm and I went back to sleep.

6 am

Second alarm went off.

I stopped it and went on to social medias.

Sharing, reblogging, hearting, liking, and all that jazz.

Went back to sleep with tired blinded eyes.

7 am

Third alarm was blowing up every 10 minutes and I finally got up at 7:30 — ish am.

As I could recall, a bit, I watched Just Kidding News to get me hyped up because they’re funny in some videos and even on serious topics.

Yeah… I didn’t laugh or smile.

Emotionlessly walking towards the kitchen.

Kitchen

I ate oatmeal with dates and the last banana from the basket.

Drank tea and water while still watching Just Kidding News.

I felt a bit hyped up, but not to the point I’d usually laugh my ass off.

Almost 10 am

I asked my dad if he could drop me off to train station and he said yes.

He went off to another place until he came back after I have finished showering.

And then I was rushing.

I even made an excuse to my boyfriend that I would just make it to the train station he usually picked me up in.

After some talk and thought with him, I decided to just go to where I said I would meet him up in.

I felt like shit making excuses about why I’m going to be late…

11 am — ish

At this point, my dad was back and I was rushing the hell out!

I brushed my teeth and grabbed my moisturizer to put in my backpack.

I got most of my stuff and put them on my backpack.

At this point, it felt like I fucked up my ways with my dad… since he was waiting for me outside.

After some few minutes, I was in the car and off to train station.

… and half way from my street, I forgot my wallet.

So my dad drove back to the house and I got it.

12 am — ish

I was in the car with my dad and I didn’t nap or relax.

My mind was going off on how inconsiderate I am to two people.

I was feeling shitty and I couldn’t get rid of my negative thoughts and physical pain in my chest.

So throughout the car ride until we reached the station, I sat properly and had my eyes wide open.

I was trying hard not to cry.

1 am — ish

Listening to my songs in iPhone, my boyfriend called me.

He asked me where am I at and I said the train.

My voice was weak and cracked up…

After that, I was already in second train, since I had to transfer.

All I did was play my number game until I got tired of it before my last stop.

And then boyfriend calls again saying he’s done with his work and he asked where am I at.

I was already in the first bus I had to go to before transferring to a second bus.

2:05 pm

I texted him that I’ll be in second stop to go to another bus.

He called me asking the same thing, except this time he was frustrated.

I was in first freeway, then around mall, and onto the second freeway.

All this time, he just kept saying that there’s no second freeway.

I felt more shitty that time since I was literally telling him what’s going on and he didn’t believe my ass.

He told me to be at a stop and wait there.

My eyes were getting teary and blurry, but it wasn’t enough to have me crying in public.

I saw his car at the opposite of the street I was at and then he picked me up.

Usually we’d kiss and say sweet shit, but for some minutes I was explaining to him what has happened after he was frustrated.

And then he finally understood why there were two freeways… it was the weekend.

I did not feel relieved.

At all…

I guess he tried to have a conversation or a small talk since he saw something and made a comment on it.

And before the conversation thing, that I only nodded to, he held my hand like usual… but my hands are weak.

As in, I often hold his hand and then have my right hand caress his arm and then his hand with my left hand.

But no… nope…

The way I was sitting in my boyfriend’s car was the same way I sat in dad’s car, except my tears blocked my vision and it poured out.

Way before this happened and after the hand holding thing, he brushed his hand on my cheek since it seemed like it felt that I was sad as fuck.

So going to his house, he parked and I got off without looking at him. I tried not to get noticed by his mother and dog, but damn, I get a lot of attention wherever I fucking go.

3 pm — ish

We were at the car again and I don’t know how everything was good, but I remember saying sorry after we had our foot out of the car outside game parking lot.

We had to wait awhile to sit on our spot and everything was fun and happy.

We took pictures of the scoreboard on 4 minutes and 20 seconds, the whole place, and the shark looking iguana that was in front of us.

4 pm — ish

There was a first 18 minute break and we got food and drinks that I bought for both of us.

Then we just got back to our seats.

And then we had conversations during the game.

Also another 18 minute break so I got me pretzels.

4:30 pm — 5pm — ish

Our team won 5–0.

We took selfies of each other.

And then finally got back home After we got milkshake from a drive thru.

We stayed there a bit and just relaxed.

And then I went to his work place.

6 pm — 12:15 pm

I watched the games he was working in while I was taking selfies and eating food in the restaurant.

During the wait I watched and listened to Youtube.

And then he got off work and was changing to his regular clothes.

I found his mom and stayed in arcade spot next to the front and as I was about to play a race car game, my boyfriend was at the right and I followed him to his car and back to work place to find his mom.

12 am — ish

We got back to house, since I slept over.

We are good that his mom made and what I brought weeks ago that was still good to eat.

And then she made us vitality smoothie that we didn’t finish since we fell asleep on the couch.

2am — ish

We finally woke up and he did tasks for his mom while I was in their bathroom.

He came back and we were on our phone a bit.

And then we feel asleep for a long time.

5am-9am

My alarm was going off three times and I had no fourth one, but I napped anyways.

And then my boyfriend and I woke up in bed.

We were chilling there for a bit.

Then we moved to the couch and while he was falling asleep, I paid with his dog.

After that, we thought of having breakfast from the same place we got our shakes.

11pm — ish to 2:30 pm

We laid on my bedfor hours, until my alarm woke us up.

Also my dad was calling about the appointment too.

So then we showered and then I walked him to his car after giving him a kiss goodbye.

I said I love him after he did first.

Before 3:30 pm

I watched Just Kidding News on tv.

Also ate some food even though I ate a lot before that day and that day.

Drank two glasses of water and two more after 45 minutes.

And then dad called me that he’d be at the house to pick me up in five fucking minutes.

So I rushed to brush my teeth and gargle.

I also dumped my stuff from my backpack to the bed and then pack some of the items.

3:30 pm — ish

Shit, he’s already here.

So I rechecked everything and closed my door to run to his car.

3:45 pm — ish

I arrived at hospital and signed papers even when I was called to meet with doctor.

And it took a few minutes and I was off to my dad’s car again.

I got hungry so I wanted ice cream.

It took awhile since he went to the wrong address and I walked there by myself after getting dropped off.

I had a cupcake, cookie, and two scoops of ice cream.

Went back home and gave rest to my mom and sis.

I ate their left overs since they were done eating.

Was on my phone for a long time and slept around 12am — ish.

Now

I’m sitting in kitchen eating oatmeal at 8am

My work is at 10am.

Mom is going to pick me up at 9:30 am

Good morning and have a great day, Zen.