God, I wish you were my friend. I feel very alone.

I outwardly identify as a woman, but in my heart of hearts, I know that some part of me—a big part of me—is something else.

I am afraid to tell people, because the people in my social circle who are accepting of trans people seem to hate men. When they insult or dismiss men (even cis men), it feels like they’re insulting and dismissing me.

I am afraid that if I outed myself in any way—admitted that I identify with men, somewhere deep inside myself—no one would love or respect me. I would lose the right to my perspectives and personal experiences, and I would be friendless in this world.

And, in truth, it’s hard to say that isn’t already the case. I’m just the only one who knows it.