An Excerpt from an Open Letter to Bill Cosby’s Judge

Just in case you didn’t recognize how stunningly awful Dan A. Turner’s open letter was, let’s try it from a different point of view…

…As it stands now, Bill’s life has been deeply altered forever by the events between the mid-1960s and mid-2000s. He will never be his happy go lucky self with that easy going personality and welcoming mind-blowing hypocrisy. His every waking minute is consumed with worry, anxiety, fear, and depression. You can see this in his face, the way he walks, his weakened voice, his lack of appetite. Bill always enjoyed certain types of foods and is a very good cook himself. I had to make sure to hide some of my favorite frozen desserts because I knew they wouldn’t be around long after Bill returned from being a hypocrite on television. Now he barely consumes any food and eats only to exist. These allegations have broken and shattered him and our family in so many ways. His life will never be the one that he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve. That is a steep price to pay for 50 years of action out of his 78 years of life. The fact that he may have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life forever alters where he can live, visit, work, and how he will be able to interact with future potential victims. What I know as his father is that incarceration is not the appropriate punishment for Bill. He has no prior criminal history and has never been violent to anyone including his actions between the mid-1960s and mid-2000s. Bill can do so many positive things as a contributor to society and is totally committed to educating young college students about the dangers of alcohol consumption and sexual promiscuity. By having people, like Bill educate others on college campuses is how society can begin to break the cycle of Quaalude consumption and its unfortunate results. Probation is the best answer for Bill in this situation and allows him to give back to society in a net positive way.

Very Respectfully,

William Henry Cosby Sr.

Christian A. Dumais is the only American writer and humorist living in Poland. His most recent book is SMASHED: THE LIFE AND TWEETS OF DRUNK HULK. Follow him on Twitter: @PuffChrissy.