Crisis as committee realises that today isn’t World anything Day.

Panic in the halls of the World Association for Naming Celebration Days (WANCD) in Geneva this morning, as they struggle to come to terms with the fact that the 26th September has somehow been overlooked.

Jordan Jordaan, Secretary of WANCD, confirmed that there would be a full internal investigation to ensure that this was simply ‘clerical error’, and not a work of sabotage akin to the infamous International Rabbit/Rabbi Day scandal of 2008. “People assume we simply pluck things out of thin air”, said Jordaan, “but every single day requires weeks of negotiation — just because France thinks there should be an International Ambivalence Day, it doesn’t mean that everyone will agree. Some people simply aren’t fussed about ambivalence”.

WANCD was formed in 1994, amid concerns that without appropriate regulation, different nations may choose to celebrate different things on different days, causing chaos. Jordaan was quick to assert the importance of the Association, “Back in ‘91, a trade deal between the U.S. and China almost broke down simply due to the Americans moving their own ‘Talk Like A Pirate Day’ forward to accommodate ‘Menstrual Hygiene Day’. It was clear that more rigorous homogenisation was required.”

Twitter was quick to respond, with users complaining that instead they would be forced to post messages about current affairs, pictures of animals that look like humans, and jokes. One user tweeted, “They might as well call it International Nothing To Talk About On Twitter Day #NotImpressed”.

WANCD confirmed that an interim World Day would be announced this afternoon, ahead of a permanent Day being inaugurated next year, with bookies’ favourites including World Smashed Avocado Day, and International Day of the Selfie Stick.

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