Credit: New Matilda

To all the “feminists” that annoy me, you’re doing it wrong.

Modern feminism is messed up and before the pitchforks come up, this is coming from a fellow female.

Call it whatever you want — empowerment, gender equality, equal opportunities — it doesn’t change the fact that a large number of the female population use the term as an excuse to be a self entitled, victim of everyone and everything, drama queen.

Yes, I am writing this in defense of men who dare speak up against this new wave of ‘feminism’ — especially those that got collectively crucified for presenting an alternative idea whilst making the mistake of being male.

No, this is not a pro-life, anti-abortion kind of piece — that is another issue entirely. Nor am I writing against real rape victims who has decided to speak up, or the struggles of females in hardship through social, economical and geographical discrimination.

No. I’m talking about the every wannabe in ‘hardship’ kind of personalities who think its alright to put down the opposite gender for situations that they themselves have engineered its occurrence.

Lets go back in time a little

Feminism first started in the 19th century and focused primarily on the legal inequalities that exists purely based on gender such as voting rights. The suffrage movements was more than just a protest and demand for change, it was also a push towards an alternative view point in a system that had ingrained and established gender roles.

We inherited the idea of a “woman’s place” from a much older social system that worked in the pre-industrial and pre-technological age. Physical strength and gender specific qualities aided its construction and perpetuation in societies around the world.

While we often see patriarchy as the dominant social structure, matriarchal societies do exist in parallel. This social system where females are the primary holders of power in spaces such as politics, morality and legal privileges are often reflected in the language and mythologies.

There have been anthropological findings that patriarchy is actually younger than matriarchal societies — that a woman centered, goddess worshiping world existed and lasted much longer than the current out going wave of male domination.

Until sometime around 3000BCE and during the Paleolithic era, approximately 1.5 to 2 million years ago, there is evidence that female dominated societies existed. Then things started to change when the conflict between hunter and grower societies clashed and for the sake of survival, female dominated cultures had to take a back seat against incoming invaders. Patriarchy had its purpose and throughout millenniums of wars and conflict, women gradually lost their freedom and superior position.

Thus it can be deduced that when there is peace, matriarchal systems thrive due to the lack of physical protection required from external male driven invaders.

But as a society today we are past that.

What are we now?

As we move into a space where everything is to be genderless and colorless, matriarchal dominance as an alternative to the current weakening patriarch system is not the solution.

Female empowerment through the put down of our male counterparts fails to capture the spirit of what the original feminists stood for — equality in an extremely unbalanced world. Disempowering another gender in order to empower your own does not create equality but rather enforces and creates a new kind of inequality.

And that’s where current, self proclaimed “feminists” annoy me.

I’m talking about the half naked females that get angry when a man offers an unwanted gaze or comment whilst they themselves happily oogle and objectify other half naked men. These females can easily occupy the space of the victim, but when a man does it they are instantly condemned.

The inequality of being female

I’m also talking about those “feminists” that doesn’t understand the concept of public decency and get offended by men who dare point out the discomfort it causes them. Or the “feminists” that want to portray glittered boobs, bandaged dresses and low cut shirts as a neon sign for don’t look at me but look at me. It’s a confusing message.

But most importantly, I’m talking about those “feminists” that use the term feminism and identify as a “feminist” to justify their bad behavior towards others, especially men.

I’m talking about the new trend to publicly humiliate men on social media for their private conversations against them on airplanes, on beating up men simply because they looked at their female bodies the wrong way. Yelling, hitting, assaulting a man by a woman does not hold the same reaction or weight if it was the other way around. Rather, it is celebrated when a woman exerts the violence while condemned if its the other way around.

Why we’re getting it wrong

It’s a double standard.

Feminism is not “girl power” and by using it in a “us vs them” context by these so called “feminists”, they are essentially adding to the outdated matriarchal vs patriarchal battle. This contradicts with the genderless narrative that is currently exploding everywhere. By pointing out the male-ness of the other sex to justify and defend the “feminist’s” own actions against their critics, they are using the concept as a scapegoat to their actions rather than making the effort for a fair debate.

Feminism used to stand for equality but has now morphed into a mainstream method employed by females to put down, ridicule and ignore men. The general argument by “feminists” for this is that “it’s their turn”.

And that’s where we go wrong.

If feminism truly stands for equality, then turn based empowerment contradicts this. You cannot be equal if you make the other lesser than you. The language of the current version of popular feminism is wrong in that it seeks to make one gender more powerful than the other.

“but it’s discrimination”

Gender discrimination can go both ways. Men are often undesired in traditionally female dominated industries such as childcare. To call for more women in parliament, CEOs, developers, marketers, lawyers and every possible profession under the sun is very 80s.

While females do have the capacity and aides nowadays to do the same jobs as men, the lack of females that choose to go into these professions themselves is not at the fault of men. We do not have that excuse anymore.To have the choice and choosing not to do it is true freedom.

And that’s what I think feminism is all about — equality through choices and chances. It is un-gendered and completely up to the individual which path they wish to pursue.

I’m not denying that sexism doesn’t exist but to use feminism as term that is supposed to somehow even the playing field by attempting to handicap the other doesn’t make us female folk any better than the men who do the same.

On a statistical level, there is a higher chance of more women in politics and technology if there are actually more females that choose to enter the profession. No one is stopping them but themselves. But to demand more female voices and involvement for something with limited spaces and when the ratio of men and women are skewed and uneven, it creates an unfair advantage by simply being female. You become judged based on your gender rather on merit and that’s the last thing I want — or maybe that’s just me.

Final Words

If I was a man writing this piece, the “feminists” out there would probably flip a table and hurl gendered insults at their manhood.

But because I am one of their own, part of their gender and unspoken supposedly united girl power sisterhood, the most I’ll probably get is some mild abuse laced with excuses or just get completely ignored.

Perhaps I’ll be branded as privileged and a betrayer to my own gender. Who knows. It’s hard to tell when feminism doesn’t go in a feminist’s way.

Code Things + Productivity, Freelancing & Ideas 🍕🍕🍕 Follow me at twitter.com/dottedsquirrel

Code Things + Productivity, Freelancing & Ideas 🍕🍕🍕 Follow me at twitter.com/dottedsquirrel