To shed some light on the other side it’s difficult for non racist white people in racist families as well. They walk on a bit of fencing trying to appease both sides. No one wants to ditch their family even when their beliefs are not yours.
I walked that fencing from childhood. I voiced my disgust from the time I could talk. I lived my life differently and popped back into their world for visits. Now I’m older I’ve given up popping anywhere and have gradually sidelined them as they continue their racism and my tolerance level has gone down.
I feel for you and for your friend. As humans in 2017 we shouldn’t still be having this conversation I think we’ve persecuted each other long enough. We are one race, human, anything else is us being brainwashed enough to fall for the divisions put up by those who want to enslave us in their world of cruelty and hatred.